Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm Right Beside You

My dogs are total opposites. Odyssey is crazy. He'll leave in a second. He wants to be free and if you give him the chance he'll take off at a million miles an hour. He has never been intentionally off a leash outside. He feels an amazing responsiblity to chase cats and squirrels out of the yard and to keep his friends the frogs inside. He is infinitely loyal and every bad day I've had in the past almost 5 years has been met with a great friend laying right beside me until I felt better. He protects me ferociously even to the point than when he thought my grandmother hurt me - he bit her. Not hard, but enough for her to know that's not okay!

Ella is the total opposite. She has never left my side. She never goes outside with me on a leash because she never leaves. Ever since she was 8 weeks old she has slept with her head on my pillow and when I wake up, she's still usually still there. She gets her little feelings hurt easily and does not share at all. If Odyssey drops his bone he might as well also kiss it goodbye! She gets super whiney when she's bored and when she's done with whatever we're doing she just stops right there and lays down on her side like she's just exhausted. They both make me laugh almost every day.

When I take them for a walk I make them both be on collars and leashes because I don't want anything to happen to them. They have an oxen harness that connects both of them so they can walk side by side. Odyssey is used to being on a leash, Ella looks at me every single time like, "this is not necessary." Tonight we were walking through the neighborhood like we always do. A huge yellow lab who was super sweet, but still a crazy puppy came bounding through the yard and headed straight for us. Odyssey jumped up and down like A FRIEND A FRIEND! Ella's tail stopped wagging and fell down. Then she turned around in slow motion and LOCKED eyes with me as if to say, "are you still here?" I was amazed. There was no fear there, no concern. The one she was connected to was going crazy and a dog 4 times her size was towering above her, but she KNEW that in 4 years I have never let anything happen to her and obviously she didn't say anything but in her eyes it was like she was thinking, that's good enough for me. She knew she could trust me. She knew that if that dog laid a paw on her I'd wrestle him to the ground! Eventually they got bored sniffing each other and we went on our way.

God always speaks to me in the dailyness of life and tonight was no exception. This week is not off to a good start. Yesterday I had to take an employee from the store for an emergency psych eval and stood by helplessly while they took her to the state hospital. She is mentally ill much more than we realized and will not be able to return to work after the events of yesterday. It wasn't good. Her husband (also a psych pt) called and threatened to come after me. Great. Another employee had a sobbing fit and breakdown to the point that I had to remind myself which job I was at! The owner is back from her mother's funeral and very emotionally frail of course. The guy forgot to go to the bank saturday which made 8 checks bounce- yikes! It was a stressful day. Today I walked outside just in time to see a car burst into flames. My friend Tammy said, "Satan IS after us and he brought fire!" I wish I was making this stuff up but no. It was so bizzare.

And yet, in that moment where my sweet Ella turned around and looked at me with such trust, it was like Jesus said, I'm right beside you. When the enemies of this world swirl about, I am right beside you. When you're stressed and all signs of happiness have fallen down, I'm right beside you. When you don't have the right answers or any answers for the questions, I'm right beside you. When the events of yesterday give you a splitting headache today, I'm right beside you. When you feel unsure about a lot of things, I'm right beside you.

I'm happy to be on a spiritual leash that connects me to him. I'm happy to know that when the storms of life come swirling around - He's right beside me.


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