Sunday, January 20, 2013

True Confessions

Although I do believe in celebrating Epiphany in it's 12 days after Christmas Day entirety, my Christmas tree is still up.  Part of it is it's in a room I never go in.  Part of it is I'm just not ready to put it away.  Every single year I feel the same.  Even though I didn't work in retail this Christmas, even though I participated in so much of the liturgical tradition this year, even though I attempted (and failed miserably) at celebrating Advent - I just don't feel like the season has soaked in enough.  I don't feel like the peace of Christmas really got into the heart of who I am.  So, I'm not taking it down.  Yet.

Maybe it was because I scheduled my first real confession just a few days before Christmas. Oh, don't freak out.  I have, do, and will forever believe that God hears my prayers, confessions, whiny moments and tears just as well from anywhere I happen to be as He did from a priest's office.  But, I needed a big do-over in some ways and that's how I chose to make that happen.  More about that another time.  Maybe.

I'm living in the aftermath of having a book published.  It's such a wonderful season, but starting work on my next book makes me miss so much being able to do research by sitting down with the monks and letting them tell me about God.  I miss observing their lives and learning from their example.  I don't think there's a second book about the monasteries, but in a little bit of a homesick way, I wish there was. 

I'm also loving only having one job.  I'm loving getting close to finishing up school.  I'm finding it pure luxury to stay home in my pajamas and write papers and the occasional page or two of a book.  I'm learning about slowing down and living intentionally.  I've returned to a daily yoga practice and a jogging schedule.  I'm doing fun stuff that I haven't had time for in years.  I'm finding God in small ways and big ways every step of the way.  True Confession?  I've never loved Him more.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

New Year. Same resolutions

Proof that I'm a slow learner?  My New Year's resolutions this year are the same as last year.  And they just might be the same next year.  I've settled into the fact that becoming more like Christ, trusting God in all things, and resting in Him might just be the resolutions I seek to master for all the days of the rest of my life.  

2012 was good to me.  I went through Confirmation in the Episcopal Church and that experience ended up meaning far more than I anticipated.  I've only spent 2 years in the Episcopal Church, but I'm thankful God has called me to the liturgical tradition for such a time as this.
My first book came out!  The experience was more rewarding, more frustrating, and more wonderful than I ever could have imagined.  It's a sweet season now to be reading e-mails and comments from readers who feel drawn to a more monastic life because of this book.  My time at the monasteries are such a big part of my love story with God and how He found me when I needed Him most.  

2013 will find me finishing grad school, working for a new hospital company, and finding God in new and similar ways.  He's faithful.  Of that I'm sure.

Happy New Year!