Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Heading out

I'm headed out for the rest of the week. I'm taking the dogs to Jacksonville tomorrow with my friend Tammy and her dog Ryder to the dog park. They have pools and trails and no leashes allowed! They may never want to leave! And Friday I have big plans to sit on my couch and read a book :) I'll be back with a full report and pictures next week. Have a good rest of the week and weekend! Brenda


Maybe I'm just not extravagent. Maybe lately I just see the necessity of Daily Bread. Maybe it hurts my brain to think 10 years down the road or 5 minutes from now for that matter. But lately, my prayer has been Lord, let it be enough.

Let me have:
enough faith to trust you today with today.

enough love to be Christ like to the people around me and to love them well.

enough grace for those around me who are struggling knowing it has been all too often me.

enough joy to live today without despair.

enough hope to know You have promised a future and a hope for those who trust in you.

enough light to not be swallowed up in darkness.

enough time today to accomplish the tasks you have set before me.

enough strength to do things well.

enough peace to entrust what cannot be solved today to you tomorrow.

Let me:
Know I'm Yours
Hear your voice
Trust your heart
Keep you first

Lord, you are enough. If you never ever did another thing for us, you've already done far more than we deserve. You know the needs we don't yet know we need. You know the desires so deep in our hearts there aren't adequate words to describe. You know that what we need more than anything is more of you. Thank you that you love to answer that prayer. Amen

Monday, July 27, 2009

Nigerian Proverb

This is my new favorite quote-
"He who is being carried does not realize how far the town is." -Nigerian Proverb

I'm so glad He carries us.

Please pray for Ryan's family today. Today would have been his birthday and his dad is having a really hard time. Please pray the Lord would continue to heal the hearts of this sweet family.

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Here's your random post for the week:

-Today in the mail I got a form letter from my dentist. It stated that he's had gastric bypass to help lower his cholesterol. UMMMMM.....we're not really that close! But whatever.

-I'm sooooo excited to have Thursday and Friday off this week. The dogs and I are packing up and heading to Jacksonville with our friend Tammy and her dog Ryder. We'll eat lunch and then spend 7 hours at the dog park playing, hiking trails and swimming in the doggy pools. Maybe even take a nap and read a book under a shade tree. We can't wait! I'm not going to tell the dogs yet though. They'd be so excited they wouldn't be able to sleep! :)

-Bible study is going so well! I love love love love it. And I love Beth Moore studies because seriously if you thought you weren't in the Word enough before-you are now! Esther is incredible. Lovin it!

-What I'm not lovin is electric bills in the south for the summer......ugh.

-I'm a huge fan of french press coffee which proposes 2 problems-it's horrible for your cholesterol and a big pain to make-problem!

-My pastor has been out of town for 2 weeks and I've missed church once and probably twice tomorrow due to work stuff-and I sooooooo miss it! Praying I can go back next week! I kinda got used to it!

-I still think Baby Mama is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen and watched it again with a friend this week. I'm considering this line for the Christmas card this year, "Being single is not an alternative lifestyle!"

-I have to get back to work. What are you up to?



I love that prayer is our communication with the Lord. I love that in those moments when we get ourselves quiet enough we can hear the Lord speak gently to our souls. I love that He wants to interact with us even more than we need to interact with Him.

And I hate distractions.

I don't know what my problem is lately! I can't focus for 5 seconds on anything. I usually read 2-3 books a week and I'm going to have to bust it to finish our book of the month this month! I know it comes from being a little overwhelmed in the thinking department with too many plates spinning in the air. But I hate that. I so enjoy the time when I can sit before the Lord and be all there. I'm praying desperately for renewed focus and a mind that is steadfast on Him. It's just so unspiritual to think, "Dear Lord" and then, "I need watermelon at the store!" Yikes.

I know the Lord understands our desire to be with Him, to meditate on the scriptures and listen carefully for that still small voice. But sometimes I really appreciate it when the voice is neither small nor still! I think we have to create an environment where His presence, His Spirit can thrive. Create an environment where communion is possible. Personally I pray really well in the shower, not so much in the living room (when did I wash those curtains? Is that a spiderweb? Those windows need washed, etc.). I pray really well on walks with my dogs, not so well running on the treadmill at the gym. You have to and I have to find what works best for our relationship with the Lord.

And while we're on the subject, can I just say that I am Soooooo thankful lately for the people in my life that pray for me. It makes such a huge difference and I've seen answers and frustrations ease and situations work themselves out all attributed to the power of prayer lately. And I'm especially thankful for the friends who pray big prayers over my life that I do not have the courage to pray myself. And I'm even thankful for the people in my life that pray the hard prayers. MUAH! love you all!

:) Brenda

All things New

I always start my day with this little saying, "

"This day dawns with possibilities-the chance to make a difference, to better ourselves, to forgive offenses and love from a pure heart. You're paying for this day with 24 hours of your life-make it worth the investment."

It makes a difference in the way I see setbacks both in and around myself. It makes a difference how I treat people. When frustrations arise significant or not it makes a difference whether I see them as opportunities or annoyances.

Lord, you're as faithful as the sun. Forgive those times when I forget that what you've already done for me is far more than I deserve.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

headed home

I came to work at 7 this morning to work on inventory so I'm about to head home! I love having a free afternoon. I started the day with french press coffee (the best!). I'm going to see the dogs and go to the mall and spend some extra time with Jesus. Believe me.....we need it. I've been contemplating praying my favorite verse to take out of context on some people! Deut. 7:23! Ha! Don't hate me. Hope you guys have a good night! More posts tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

life is a stand up routine

People (myself included) say the dumbest stuff. Oh my word. Have you ever just tried to go to sleep at night and think WHY DID I SAY THAT? It makes me want to never talk again I'm tellin ya. Our mouths will get us in trouble faster than anything else I'm absolutely convinced. With just a word we can encourage someone into hopefullness. With another word we can plummet them into a sea of dispair that will take days from which to emerge. There is power in the tongue. I'm not giving you any examples although there are many this week both from me and to me. I'm thinking of turning it into a stand up comedy routine. ya think?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Randy Singer

Last night I spent the evening at Crossroads church with author Randy Singer. He gave a great message about letting God be the author of your life and then we worked his book table. It was a blast! By the time we wrapped up there it was so late we were delerious (especially for a Monday!) We went to Chili's and laughed until we cried! So needed that. And I recomment Randy's books to anyone especially if you like the John Grisham, legal thriller type books.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

New Mercies Every Day

More than anything else in my life I hate the feeling of instability. Even though stability at times can be a false sense of assurance, I still prefer it to feeling totally like I'm dangling over the edge of a cliff!!

I feel like I've made great strides in my relationship with the Lord lately. To say we're back on track is the understatement of the century-and it's good to be back! But I think somewhere in the back of my mind I'm afraid I'll fall back into a pattern without Him. We so have to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. We are feeble. I'm thankful that in our weakness He can be strong and it's dangerous to assume that we can move one inch for one moment without Him.

I'm prone to being overly stressed REALLY easily if you haven't picked up on that by now! I like to flip totally out about things I can't do anything about in between great bouts of faith of course! My go to emotions are - fear, anxiety and stress. Which is why I totally try to surround myself with people whose go to emotions are peace, joy, and a sense of calm! I so love the people in my life who will take me by the hand and say, "Brenda. Really?" They have a big job and I hope they are well rewarded in Heaven!!

I can usually recognize when a wave of crazy is about to crash on my head and this week it hit in full force. There are uncertainties I cannot control and always will be. There are decisions I do not know how to make at the moment and there always will be. Last night I wanted to run home and watch Hope Floats, Steel Magnolias and Beaches back to back!! I know mentally when I'm about to collapse into a spiritual heap on a not so spiritual floor that it's time to run to the Savior.

My go to people are out of town this week and I think God knew that. Those who I ask to pray for me and with me and who usually run to my beckon call are nowhere to be found - some are out of the country! (good one God!). I'm a people person-can't get enough of them! I have moments where I want to be alone but normally I just want people to be with me in a hard time. I love my friends that will sit with you when you're sick, cry with you when you cry, and laugh their heads off with you when it's over! I try to remember that when I'm with people in hard situations-sometimes the best thing you can do is take their hand and say, "You're not alone. I'm here. I care." And then stop talking! And this week they are all gone-humph! To me that feeling of being all alone is scary at first. I can't EVER process it in the onset. But today I'm thankful for fresh perspective - and in all my humanity-that my friends are coming home soon! :)

God means for us to be in relationship particularly with other believers. I think God knows that we need each other and intends for us to support each other. BUT, ultimately we have to remember that He is our primary support. He so desires to be our go-to first. He longs to hold us when we're hurting and listen to our cries. He has the answers to our questions. He knows yesterday from today. But, sometimes, do you ever want to say to Him, "I know you're "here" BUT I WANT YOU HERE! Physically sometimes I want him to be here, actually here.

Sigh. Therein is what faith is all about. Putting very real circumstances into the hands of an unseen God. To find Him with our souls and not our hands. To trust Him with our hearts and not our eyes. I understand that, but I still long for the day when our faith will be made actual sight. When we can really be with him-forever.

New mercies every day

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Yes Jesus loves me

I can't tell you how important I think it is to grow in our faith-that each day we would fall deeper in love with Him, that we would trust Him more, that we would know Him better. But sometimes it's the basics that totally trip me up and grab me right around the heart. Jesus loves me.

There's a world of hurting people most in far worse conditions than mine. Children even right this second are losing their battle with AIDS, cancer, poverty, starvation. People are worshiping at the temples of idols that not only are dead, but never were alive. People right this moment are committing suicide all over the globe. My problems and concerns seem trivial by comparison and yet-Jesus loves me.

If I had needed knowledge God would have sent me a scientist. If I had needed physical healing God would have sent a Doctor. But I needed Salvation and God sent a savior. Jesus loves me.

I'm just your average run of the mill sinner faulty in thousands of ways. I fall short of the glory of God about 20 times a minute. I am not only unworthy, I am never going to achieve perfection on this earth for until the day I die I will be human. The only hope I have for today, for tomorrow and for eternity is in Him. Jesus loves me.

So today I'm thankful for a God who knows there's nothing I desire more than to know Him, love Him and trust Him, more today than ever before. It's so simple to say that Jesus loves me, but I think when you really understand it-it's transforming. He loves......ME. Not the me I want to be. Not the me I wish I was. Just me. Right now. Right where I am. Me. And He knew what he was signing up for-amazing! It makes me want to fall to my knees and weep. Accepted, loved-I am undeserving and eternally grateful. Yes, Jesus loves me.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Missy and Ryan


PLEASE pray for this family. As you know Missy passed away earlier this week. Tonight Ryan joined her dying very peacefully surrounded by family still grieving their mother. I can't even imagine how this family is holding up planning not one but 2 funerals for those they love. Health is a gift. Please keep praying for them. Thanks.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

A sad day

Thank you to those of you who have been praying for Missy and Ryan. I'm so sorry to say today that Missy lost her battle with cancer last night. Please pray especially for Ryan as he continues to fight his cancer and for her husband and other 2 children.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

so much to say

I have so much to say that I'm afraid this post will also end up as a random post but officially after right now I'm not apologizing for random posts. I like em and that's kind of what I am right now-random-so there ya go :)

First of all, Michael Jackson's funeral cost the city of Los Angeles 1.4 million dollars. Ahem. Don't take this the wrong way. Michael Jackson was a rare talent who was a classic case of money mixed with mental illness if you ask me. I think it's sad when anyone dies young. I think the memorial was totally ridiculous with people who you never saw with michael jackson in life boo hoo crying probably for their own recognition in his death. And please for all that is right with the news-PUT THE MAN IN THE GROUND AND GET ON WITH IT! I'm so sick of hearing about it! I need Good Morning America to get back to telling me the calorie content of food and other necessary facts!

Yesterday I gave blood which by now you know I always do. I decided that I would let the new girl stick me because I have veins the size of water hoses and I like to give new people a chance-one chance. She stuck the needle all the way through my vein. It's sooooooo sore today! And black and blue. To her credit she did really well when she tried the other arm and to MY credit I let her try again. I'm nice like that. ANNNNNNNNNNND-guess who won a $100 Visa gift card in the blood drive drawing????? ME!!!! How fun is that! I'll turn it into Starbucks right before your eyes-watch and see.

I think you can't really appreciate the presence and power of God in your life until you've experienced a season without it. I can't believe 3 weeks ago I was sitting on a friend's couch telling her I didn't know where God went and I felt so disconnected to the Christian community as a whole. I wish I could have seen this week coming! He's so faithful.

First of all for 3 weeks in a row I've been able to go to church. A true miracle. I can't say it better than how I sent it to a friend after Sunday..........Here's the E-mail.

So, you might think I'm dumb to get so excited that God keeps Sunday morning free but it really is crazy how wonderful it is. My calendar has calls/appts this morning at 715/800/810/840/900/920. I transferred all my calls to the supervisor who just told me, "Brenda, it didn't ring once-for anything!" He was as shocked as I was! I just transferred the calls back to my phone and 30 seconds later the ER called with a patient who had just gotten there. Hmm! I know I'm easily amused, but for the girl who isn't ever promised a lunch break it's pretty neat that 2+ hours have just freed up 3 weeks in a row!! And I know if the time comes that I have to be here on a Sunday morning then that's where I need to be, but I do love being there!

And thanks for letting me hang out with you and your husband. It's nice to be with you. You both live Jesus from the inside out and it's truly a blessing to watch. It's been almost 8 years since I've been in a church that I wanted to go to. It's worth every hurried moment early Sunday morning to be there.

So, maybe it's not a part the red sea sized miracle for the Lord to clear one person's schedule for a few hours, but it means just as much to me. Thank you for praying and thanks for being a part of what the Lord is doing in my life!

And I meant every word of it! God is so good.

And last night we started the Bible study Esther at my house. INCREDIBLE! I'm so excited. I have a great group of people coming and I already love the study! Thanks for praying for these women. God is meeting us there!

And this morning I joined ANOTHER study at the church on systematic theology. It's at 7:30 AM (yawn!), but so worth getting up for. I'm lovin it. And it so nice to be plugged in again to what the Lord is doing.

So tonight I have to go to the gym and get groceries and tomorrow night I have huge plans to do nothing for a few hours. I think I've earned it this week! Hope you all are doing well. more soon!

Saturday, July 4, 2009


I'm not huge on taking these little quizzes but since holiday weekends at the mental hospital usually consist of waiting for people to sober up-I'll go ahead and do this one to keep myself company and perhaps you entertained :)

1. What is your current obsession?
Coffee is always my obsession. It's ridiculous. But I'm also obsessed with the love of Jesus at the moment. Well, always, but especially lately. He's so wonderful to be ahead of me, beside me, behind me and in my soul all at the same time. I would not pick me to love, but he did and I'm forever grateful.

2. What are you wearing today?
I only wear comfortable clothes on Saturday. I'm wearing my favorite pair of casual black pants, a black shirt and my new balance slide on tennis shoes that smell bad because I never wear socks with them! Ha! And I wear a lot of black on the weekends because I drink a lot of coffee that I maybe spill sometimes. I just walked through the ER and realized how much warmer it is when you wear all black!! Go figure. I'm still going to wear it.

3. What’s for dinner?
Well I see the weekend as one long day so really it could be anything or nothing depending on how busy it gets and what I feel like eating. There's no tellin.

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
I just got back from Rite Aid where I bought Dingo bones for the dogs, Dentyne Gum, Evian water, makeup sponges and new pens.

5. What are you listening to right now?
Need to Breathe CD - love love love it.

6. What is your favorite quote?
Hmmmm. Only one? Probably We're living between the dreaming and the coming true. -Robert Benson

7. What language do you want to learn?
None. Yuck. I hate languages. I took Spanish forever and know nothing of it and I'm surrounded by Indian Doctors who are hard to understand. I'll stick with English. Although-sometimes southern English could be it's own language!

8. What do you love most about where you currently live?
I live in Valdosta, GA. I like that I have to drive by Starbucks to get literally anywhere. Darn!

9. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go?
Israel but I think it's a little too dangerous at the moment.

10. If you could do or be anything (career wise), what would you be?
Probably an author or a book editor. Something that involved reading for a living and getting paid huge sums of money for it!

11. What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own wardrobe?
The perfect pair of jeans. I guard them with my life.

12. Describe your personal style?
Either super casual or all dolled up. Nothing in the middle.

13. Do you collect anything?
not really-well maybe quotes. I love them.

14. What is the most enjoyable thing you did today?
Mmmmmmmmm. I'm working at a mental hospital on the 4th of July. Nothing enjoyable has really happened yet except for some fun text messages from friends. TONIGHT though will be a total chaotic mess of drunk people and fireworks gone bad at the ER. I'll enjoy that (guilty!).

15. What’s your favorite thing to do when you have free time?
I don't really ever have a lot of free time, but I really love to do lots of little things that I enjoy. I love to drink coffee at home, read a good book, watch a movie, change pictures in frames, etc. Stuff I never have time to do. I love not having to watch the clock to not be late for the next thing. Free time is luxury to me!

FUN! Happy 4th of July!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Ho hum

Well I'd love to write a nice long post about how I'll be out of commission for a few days because I'm heading to the beach to celebrate the 4th.......right. I hate when holidays fall on the weekend! I really wouldn't be going to the beach anyway, I just wanted to fuss about that :) I'll be at Greenleaf where I belong-of course! Sometimes I get sufficiently bored with coloring inside the lines!

I digress.

It's been a good week. Very successful in some aspects and lacking in others. We'll call it a wash! Always room for improvement.

We'll have to see if people freak out because it's a holiday this weekend or keep it together because it's a holiday. There's no tellin.

More soon-