Black Friday

Well, my hat off to those of you who got up before 3 this morning to go shopping. No way that was happening here, but good for you! I'm always amazed at the sheer number of people out on this day.

I do want to say that I was VERY disappointed in America today though. I don't know if you heard about the man who was trampled TO DEATH at a Wal-Mart in New York. Not only was the poor man trampled, but when EMS arrived to help him the people running in wouldn't move. I cannot believe this man's family is without him tonight just so people can get whatever it is they don't need for a few dollars off. Ridiculous.

Working in retail my black Friday was spent at the store which was busy. Then I went to the mall and got cool stuff at Bath and Body Works and had my hair blown out (can you GET any lazier than having your hair blown out - I know. I just don't want to do it this weekend!). And now I'm super enjoying not having to go to the hospital until 7 am. yippee for holidays.

Hope you guys had a good day!

Quote of the week : Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over - she became a butterfly.

Christmas comes early!

The Sony E-readerChristmas came early to my house yesterday. I have been debating for several months whether to get the Amazon Kindle or the Sony e-reader. Basically it's a handheld device that looks like a book that you can download up to 160 books on at one time and read them. Genius. I finally settled on the Sony e-reader and thanks to early Christmas money - IT'S MINE! I'm so excited. I've already downloaded 2 new books to it that I can't wait to read. I hope people want to stay sane tomorrow so I can read them :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Since I will be at the hospital from sun up to way past sun down tomorrow I wanted to wish you a happy thanksgiving today! I hope your holidays are happy ones. For those of you spending time with relatives that you love - enjoy it! For those of you spending the holidays with those who are difficult I pray God would bring great peace to your gatherings and you would leave surprisingly refreshed and encouraged.

And if you're seriously bored, come by the mental hospital and visit me! Starbucks is open so if you bring me a pumpkin spice latte when you come I promise not to admit you!

Happy Thanksgiving!
Brenda

Tuesday book review

I love Maya Angelou. I've read just about everything she's ever written and this one is still one of my favorites. It's a collection of short essays like most of her work, but so powerful. And I think the title about wraps up my feelings this week because I really Wouldn't take nothing for my journey now! I recommend it!

Thank you.

(This picture is from my backyard!)

I am humbled seriously from your sweet sweet comments. Thank you for caring about yesterday and being happy with me. And I appreciate you thinking I'm super spiritual, but rest assured, the place I am now where I can praise him in good or bad did NOT come easily. There were many, many very un-spiritual nights of kicking and screaming and crying and doubting and wondering if He was there or even cared. And, all thanks to Him, I still feel really great today. And thank you for sharing your stories with me. I know some of you think because I listen for a living I wouldn't want to hear about what's going on in your life - not true my friends! You are always encouraging my faith with what the Lord is doing in your lives.

And thank you for being excited about the bookclub! I really can't wait to share it with you.

And as if this week couldn't get any better - Door County Coffee just sent me a box with 6 pounds of Christmas coffee - yes you read that right - 6 and fear not - they'll ALL be gone by Christmas!

Brenda

A good day.

Not many of you know the emotional struggles of the past few years for me and it is certainly not my intention to turn this blog into a depression (not so) annonymous blog! But I just wanted to say that only if you've ever truly struggled with depression can you know when it has lifted. I have hesitated to write this entry all day because I am so aware that the enemy is everywhere and unfortunately I think he speaks english! But I don't want the sun to go down on this day without God getting the glory.

On this day in my life for the first time in a LONG time I feel like I can say I am not depressed - at all. Can I just tell you that I cannot remember the last time I felt "good" like really good? Sure there have been some good days, but they seriously have been partly cloudy at best. It has been at least several years since I've felt this good that I honestly did not recognize it when it hit me this afternoon. I'm probably making no sense at all.

I don't know why God lets us be afflicted with things and I certainly am not so naive to think that I could not wake up tomorrow in a mess of tears, but God is teaching me how to live in the moment. And this moment - I cannot tell you how unbelievably happy I am to be happy. NOTHING has changed in my life, NOTHING terribly exciting has happened in the last little bit - but still, I feel good. For the first time in a long time I feel hopeful, content, and somewhat balanced. To put it plainly - my prayers have been answered.

And I would not have guessed it, but can I just say that if tomorrow I wake up more depressed than ever, I will still be so thankful for today. I am so grateful for this reprieve I do not have words. I feel like for the 1st time in 2 years - I can breathe effortlessly. I feel free - like the hours spent on my knees have been cashed in for total peace. Worth everything.

And the human side of me is so tempted to brush this day off by saying, "Well, I slept more, I'm healthier, it's the no sugar no flour life, it's been a good day - but NO, I'm not believing any of that because that has all happened before. I'm saying that this day, this moment, at this time is a precious treasure of a gift flowing down from the throne of GRACE to this feeble attempt at humanity. A GIFT and I recognize it as such.

Dear Lord Jesus, today I am humbled by your graciousness to me-just one little life who doesn't often get it right, but who so wants to be like you. I don't know why the tide has turned today, but I thank you for hearing my prayers in the past years and for the tools you have brought along the way. I want you to know that if depression never returns I will praise you. But I also want you to know on the record that if it returns tomorrow and never leaves again - I also will praise you. We have made it through some long dark nights of the soul - together. I trust you in the sunshine and I love you in the storm. Amen

Since I believe life should be set to music I will say that I have believed in these lyrics for a long time and today I feel like I'm living after the rain.

After the Rain
I cover my heart
Turn from the wind
Button my coat
Here comes the storm again
What can I do but to trust in Him

Cause I know the deeper my faith runs
The stronger I become
And the thunder, it may shake me
But I always know that

CHORUS:
After the rain
You can look to the sky again
The clouds will give way
To the light of the sun
After the rain
You know that you've made it through
And you'll finally see the joy from the pain
After the rain

Everyone needs
Everyone hurts
Everyone feels
The weight of the world sometimes
But don't let the wind sweep your heart away
'Cause even the roughest waters cleanse
So when they come again
Let them serve as a reminder
You can always know that

CHORUS

Thanks for listening :)
Brenda

Brenda's Book Club

I love books - no secret. I love sharing Tuesday book reviews with all of you. Some of you have mentioned that you would like to read what I'm reading when I'm reading it so we could discuss it. I understand that. I love to discuss books with people. Authors are superstars to me. Those who can put pen to paper in a way that changes peoples minds, their eyes, and their perceptions - magnificent. A well written book is like the best to me. And the greatest thing in all the world for me is knowing that when I'm done with this book, there's another one unopened on my nightstand just waiting for me. I find the written word so powerful - from the Bible to St. Augustine, to crazy fiction, to modern classics, to the chronicles of Narnia - I love them all.

So, for my blog friends, I am announcing today the start of Brenda's book club! Starting in January it will be a monthly book selection so you'll have plenty of time to read it. Because I only believe in recommending really good quality books, it will be a book I've read before, BUT, I promise to read it along with all of you and if you've read it you have to promise to read it again. The only thing I like better than a good book, is one worthy to be read a second or third or forth time - now that's a classic!

I will be announcing January's selection December 1st which gives you a whole month to get it. We'll start reading it January 1st at your own pace and I will do a complete review of the book the last day of the month including your comments along the way. I will not post comments about the book throughout the month because we'll all finish at different times.

DO NOT feel like you have to participate - you so do not. You can still be a friend of my blog without doing the books, absolutely. But, if you want to or you want to do some months or you want to do all of them - this is a fun way for us to "hang out" even though we're spread out all over the world! It will be fun to know we're all reading the same thing.

I'm excited! I can't wait to tell you the 1st selection, but I will. And by the way, I am excluding Robert Benson (My favorite author of all time) from the list. I would be tempted to only choose him and all of his books are classics to me. Plus, my friends are all SO SICK of hearing about the dreaming and the coming true they could throw that book at me no doubt. So, he's worthy of your reading, but he won't be on my list. And all the people in my life breathed a huge sigh of relief :)

To reading!
Brenda

P.S. I also love a great deal on a book so I'm suggesting you get the books on Amazon. Sometimes with shipping it's still less than $5. I will also be glad to get them for you and you can just send me a check or whatever. I do it ALL the time for people at the store so honestly I don't mind at all. Just let me know.

Therapy

Some people have asked me lately my spiritual opinion of people going to therapy. So, here it is.

I haven't been to therapy since college when I had to go for my degree - quite frankly - I enjoyed it! I was a little intimidated by the process at first, but seriously it can be the best conversation you've ever had! I didn't really mind it at all and it gave me some clarification of some things so no biggie. Would I go again now like on my own accord? If I felt like I needed it - yes, for sure.

I don't really think therapy is a spiritual decision necessarily. If you're going through something that you feel like you could benefit from talking to a non biased party - do it. Sometimes we just need someone to help us put our thoughts in order.

I assume people have been asking me because they have considered going recently, so assuming that let me say the following.

Don't bother scheduling an appointment with a Psychiatrist unless you want to start with the medication route. They don't generally do talk therapy so you'll be wasting your time and up to $200 an appt.

Don't assume your pastor is a therapist. I'm all for spiritual guidence, but pastors are not necessarily trained to help you sort through your thoughts and emotions. Spirtiual guidence, prayer support, biblical questions - go for it, depression and other issues - no. (just my opinion!). We have a pastor who works at the hospital with a masters in counseling - genious combination, but hard to come by.

Don't necessarily settle for the 1st counselor/therapist you go to. Therapy is like finding a great pair of shoes - you'll know when you've found it, and you know when you missed it totally. You should feel comfortable and able to have a productive dialoge. If after a few sessions you don't feel like it's "working" for lack of a better word, don't be afraid to tell him/her that you may need someone else. Chances are they feel the same way.

Don't think it's going to be like the movies. No one is going to make you lay on a couch or cry your eyes out or be hysterical. Most people report a very professional experience with a great conversation and some goals to work on in regard to the situation.

Another word to the wise - don't assume your husband/wife or best friend are your best options. Women especailly grow up thinking they will get married to the man of their dreams who they can talk to about anything, he will listen patiently and then have all the answers. That's not fair to him and most married women report this particular scenerio leaves them feeling unheard and alone. Even if you are married to a great man who will listen to you ramble on, he may not have the answers you are looking for which can lead to resentment, etc.

However, for general day to day life stressors - if you have an attentive spouse or a best friend that you can discuss anything with, if you have someone in your life that when something bad happens you start dialing without a thought to what time it is - you have found therapy in it's purest form and for that you should be thankful. Having someone listen attentitively to your concerns who also has your best interest and well being at heart is a GIFT. Cherish it.

Working in the counseling profession myself I will say on this point I agree with Freud who said, "We don't really cure anyone - we just stand by and cheer while they cure themselves." Therapy is a valuable tool and if you need it - get it :)
Brenda

TGIF

Well, I'm glad it's finally Friday. It's been a good week. Trained at the hospital this morning - passed - good! You gotta love self defense training. So none of you better come up behind me and try to pull my hair cause I will tear you up!! Ha ha. I think I'm still going to just try to get out of the way, but you never know.

Three and a half more hours at the store and then home to take a LONG nap and head to work tonight. You never know how the weekend before Thanksgiving is going to go. Either totally crazy or totally dead, but not usually anything in between. We'll see. Either way there will be at least 4 triple venti non fat one pump no foam no whip one pump extra hot pumpkin spice lattes in the near future!

I hope you know that wherever you are physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally - he is near.

To those of you are facing unspeakable things where your heart is undeniably broken - he is close to those who mourn. I pray you find his comfort.

To those of you rejoicing - He rejoices with you.

To those who have fallen away and feel so far away from him - he is as close as your next breath. Call on him - he promises to answer.

To those on the mountaintop - he is clapping and cheering with you.

To those in the valley - he is holding you up and encouraging you to stand.

Wherever you are he is there. Have a great weekend! Talk to you Monday.

Brenda

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for SLEEP! The next few days are going to be rough with some training at the hospital and working all weekend so I'm promising never to take sleep for granted again!

I'm thankful for my journals. I haven't always been cosistant in journaling, but I'm so thankful now to have a record of all that the Lord has done for me. They would also be the first thing I would want burned if I died!

Stevia! This little marvelous herbal sweetner has saved my life or at the very least my coffee. It takes a little getting used to, but it's so much better for you than sugar!

And as always I'm thankful for these 2 little friends. They make me laugh, are glad when I get home at night, and are easily amused by a short walk or a Dingo Bone. They have taught me so much about unconditional love and are the best listeners I've ever found.

Brenda

I remember

It's no secret that I love love the Old Testament. I love the stories and the customs and the traditions. I love the way that they didn't have to wonder what the power of God was like because every once in awhile He just came around and showed them! I think they had the healthy fear of God that many of us lack. They knew He could wipe them out because they'd seem him do it before!

If I could wrap up the Old Testament in one word it would be - Remember.

God did NOT want his people to forget. He instructed them to build monuments and temples. He wanted them to celebrate holidays and events. He wanted them not just to remember that they were delivered from Egypt, but WHO delivered them. He wanted them to remember the heights from which they had fallen. He wanted them to remember the God of their youth. I think the Jewish faith is fascinating. I don't agree with all of their teachings obviously, but I can appreciate that they still celebrate Passover and days like it. They don't want to forget.

I don't want to forget either. I don't want another day to go by or another breath to be taken without remembering that I am His. I always say if you need to be reminded that God is with you, feel your pulse. That's God saying, "beat, beat, beat, beat." And when he doesn't say "beat" anymore - it won't. I might think at times that I can live without him, but that's like breathing without lungs - can't be done!

I heard someone say a few weeks ago about overcoming addiction - "plant your stake, walk away, and don't do it again." I'm thankfully not trying to overcome any addictions, but I am trying to determine in my heart once and for all with everything I am and all that I have to live 100% for Him. WAY easier said than done and it gets tested every single day!

So, tomorrow morning I'm planting a stake in my rose garden with tomorrow's date on it. I want Him to know I mean it. There is nothing in my life more important than Him. It will remind me to keep short accounts because I'll see it before I leave in the morning and as I'm coming home at night. There's no power in the stake, but there is wonderful power in Him.

It will say from me to Him - I remember.
I remember that the sacrifice you made will always be greater than any I make.
I remember that I'm to pray for those who persecute me.
I remember that nothing will ever separate me from Your love.
I remember that I am flawed and repeatedly forgiven.
I remember that with You all things are possible.
I remember that You will never leave me.
I remember that Your love is never conditional.
I remember that You have already done far more for me than I deserve.
I remember that today is a gift.
I remember that Earth is temporary.
I remember YOU.

You might not be as literal as I to actually put a stake in your yard, but what spiritual stake can you put down today to say, "that's it, from here on out we'll do things differently?" What can you put down once and for all and say, "No more." What is Jesus asking you to remember?

Brenda

Tuesday book review (on Wednesday)

SORRY! I don't know what happened to yesterday. Well, this is my new favorite book, but you're going to be mad at me. It doesn't come out until January 9th, but I got an advanced copy. HA HA! So you'll have to wait till next year to read what I read last night. Yes, that's right, I did not clean my house, I only read this book. That's sad. Ted Dekker is my favorite fiction author and his latest co-author will knock your socks off. So appreciated his darkness combined with her spirituality. So, when you get the book next year - tell me what you think. :)

Brenda

It's a good news kinda day!

Soooooo, some of you know I've been having crazy trouble with my right ankle. Besides the fact that I've sprained it (at least) twice in my life, I also hurt it somehow at the gym last Tuesday. I have been trying to heal it miraculously on it's own, but no can do. I finally went to a foot dr. guy today who did a bunch of x-rays and the short version is . . . . . . .2 bones of my ankle are now too close together and are hitting against each other. I was definitely thinking the worst until the Dr. said. . . . .."I can do surgery on it, but I'd rather just put a cortisone shot in it, give you some anti-inflamatories and oh, it would really be better if you only wore heals." HELLO! I've been wearing flats for weeks thinking heels would hurt it more. I'M SO HAPPY! Tell a girly girl to only wear heels. . . . . you got it doc! I'm heading to the mall after work and then sending the flats to goodwill. Happy day!

Brenda

A False Sense of Security

I don't have a lot of faith in security guards. Don't get me wrong-I'm happy for the big guys that help to keep us safe from the crazy people, but in all reality - We could get really hurt before they got to us and that's true anywhere.

I have no faith in restraining orders either. I think it's a good feeling to think you're "restraining" people from getting to you, but quite frankly, anyone who requires a restraining order be taken out on them probably doesn't care that much about violating it. I'm just sayin.

What I am sure of is the security of Jesus. We can put our hope in someONE who cannot go against Himself. By very nature he is a shelter, a safe place for us. When we put our hope and trust in Him we are secure from the inside out. We are in the world, but we are not of it. Our eternal security rests in the One who knows the end from the beginning. We are at war with powers and principalities here on the Earth, but one day we will be where nothing will ever harm us again. We will truly live happily ever after.

Brenda

Irony

You don't have to work in mental health very long to realize we don't exactly have control of our destiny. I've seen those who should be dead walk away and those that never should have died arrive DOA to the ER. It's always strange to me and always reminds me that God really is in control.

One of our long time patients shot himself in the head this week with a 347 magnum. Shot himself in the ear, through his skull, where the bullet lodged in his neck. He did not require surgery. He was not dead. He walked away. Came in on a gurney - could walk, talk, no long term injuries besides a blown ear drum. WEIRD. He has no family, no friends that I know of and has been miserable as long as I've known him.

Another gentleman the same day - 78 year old married man with a seemingly happy life of volunteering-also shot himself in the head. He died instantly. He had a marriage, I assume children, probably grandchildren, maybe great grandchildren. Seemed to have a lot to live for.

So, my question always is - was it the 78 year old's time to die? Was it not the other man's time to die? Did providence play a role even in the act of 2 people trying to harm themselves? Both hoped for the same outcome, but only one got it. I think God knew what would happen to both of them, but did he CAUSE one to die and one to live? Interesting to think about.

Brenda

The end

It's the end of another week! I feel out of sorts with being gone and getting back into the swing of things. It is humid and rainy and yuck here today and it's making me want to take a nap! Hope you guys have had a really good week. I'll have more exciting things to talk about next week. . . . ..
Brenda :)

A special prayer request for a special family

Since my friend Jenny's little girl died of cancer 2 years ago I have been part of a cancer ring that prays for children with cancer. It's really amazing, but I usually don't comment on them on my blog because it's seriously so sad. There are some victories, but a whole lot of defeats. I wanted to share with you this special story tonight because I can't even imagine how this family is getting up in the morning. Ryan has had cancer for several years. He's 10 years old. He's gone into remission, relapsed, remission and now has relapsed again. During his last remission his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was doing well too until a few weeks ago. She went downhill very quickly and now has hospice care. She will die not knowing if her son will live - I can't imagine. They have 2 other children that are struggling as well. If you can today lift up a prayer for them. They are a sweet family having such a tragic time.

This is a post from their blog -

There are a lot of things that are wrong in this world. Tonight, Missy and I had to tell our three beautiful children that their mommy is dying. The only thing possibly worse than that, is losing a child. We have appreciated the support from all of our family and friends so much over the years since we started SuperRyan. I never, in a million years thought that I would have to type this on his page. Missy has been every bit as amazing as Ryan while fighting this hideous disease. She was full bore right up until last week, never a complaint about her condition, just constant worry about Ryan and the rest of us. It is still her main concern. She is on a number of medications for pain, cough and sleep. Our hospital appointments have been changed to Hospice care. Thank you for being there for us, praying for us and letting Missy know how much she is loved.

The Election

First let me say, I'm super happy the election is over. 2 years is toooooo long both for the candidates and the American people. I think it all got very confusing after hearing it 100 times. No, the election did not turn out the way I had hoped and prayed, but again I say, it did not take Jesus by suprise. There is a reason Obama will take office in January and His plan is perfect. I do have great respect for anyone going into office in the mess this country is in currently. It's an unbelievable task and I do wish him well. He will have my prayers and I think we all need to pray especially for the safety of his beautiful family. It's got to be a scary thing to be in the political spotlight - especially now. And again I say - I'm glad it's over!
Brenda

SOOOOO funny!

You guys crack me up. Thanks for all the funny comments about Tina Turner. There were many that made me laugh but the one that wins is . . . . .

"Brenda, you can be a christian and like Tina Turner. It's been done before. A few times." So funny.

To answer back to a few comments -

To those of you who asked what movie is about Tina and Ike's life - it's What's Love Got to Do with it and it's on Lifetime all the time. Love it!

To those of you who are jealous you didn't go to the concert - You should be - it was awesome :)

To those of you who want to go with me next time - there won't be a next time! It's her farewell tour, follow along!

Did I get anything at the concert? - Yes, a mug that looks like the one above. I'm drinking out of it right now!

Now, I'm over my Tina obsession for now, so I'll blog about some other things tonight. Thanks for being excited with me. It really was Fabulous! Okay, I'm stopping for real. . . . . .

Brenda

I'm back!

THANK YOU for letting me take a little break. It's been a great week, but I have missed you. AT least twice a day I've thought "I can't wait to blog about that!" So, I have much to say, and I will in the next few days. I'll start with last night and work my way backwards.............

TINA TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fair Warning - those of you who have me on a spiritual pedestool may not appreciate this post. I'm definitely a Bible believing, saved, spirit filled believer of the only true God, BUT, additionally - I adore Tina Turner. Cat's out of the bag. Get over it :)

Those of you who ride with me in the summer or happen to be in my bathroom when I'm getting ready, it will not surprise you that I have a (not so) secret love affair with Tina Turner. Really to the point that I can sing her entire The Best CD from start to finish, all 18 songs, with no music.

So, 4 long months ago she announced her final tour which included a stop in Atlanta. I made 2 quick phone calls and had tickets not long before they sold out. And after waiting (forever!) last night was finally the night! It was like Christmas eve in my world, seriously. We had such a good time. Met the best people who sat next to us. And she was AMAZING! There are so many reasons I like and respect her not the least of which is she's an overcomer, but on a totally superficial note - SHE'S 68 years old! I wish I looked like that now! Amazing. And she totally exemplifies my life motto which is "get better with age." She so does - what a legend! It was a wonderful night of dancing singing laughing and great fun with friends. And it was worth the LONG few days of working 37 hours, driving to atlanta, concert and back all in the same weekend. So wonderful. . . . .

Brenda

A Blog break

It's been a long time since I've taken a break from the blog and now it is time again! I know you're all sad, but it will be okay - no worries. It's a very busy week and with some other craziness going on, all of my attention needs to be focused on these things. I am leaving Sunday afternoon to go out of town for a few days. I will be back on November 12th with a complete update. I'll miss you till then :)
Brenda

Monday book review!

I know it's not Tuesday, but tomorrow has the potential to be really busy and I definitely wanted to share about these 2 books with you.

First up is Heaven has blue carpet. This is a great read about a suburban housewife who started a sheep farm. Her insights about being a 'Sheperd' and then in turn offering insights about Jesus as our Sheperd are amazing. It's a very easy read and I really enjoyed it.

And the last one is LIfe is Mostly Edges by Calvin Miller. This is his memoir. I love Calvin Miller and greatly enjoyed his insights on his life. It's a long book which I'm a big fan of :)

I recommend them both!

Brenda

Quotable

This is my quote of the week. It's from the preface of Dr. Robin Smith's book Lies at the Alter. I love when people can put into words exactly what my heart tries to say. . . . ..

"And pulling up the rear, always having my back, the foundation of my life and the circumfrence of my being - God! Most of all I thank you for witnessing my life, and for allowing me to know that I am non-erasable and irreplaceable to You. That knowledge and understanding has transformed me. Thank you for loving me with an everlasting love - and I love you back."
Dr. Robin Smith

20 Things you may not know about me

I haven't done one of these in awhile so here goes. . . . . . ..

1. Once I decide to be in a relationship with someone I am fiercely loyal. I am not a fair weather friend. I have and will walk through fire with the people I care about (good triat!). On the flip side once I get it in my head that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone, it is extremely difficult for me to change my heart's mind. (bad trait!). Jesus and I are always working on that one.

2. I love Starbucks (duh), but really to the point that if I don't get it, I could end up in a bad mood for awhile. I would give up Starbucks if Jesus asked me to because I love Jesus more than Starbucks. . . .but I might cry a little :)

3. I love, love, love having a convertable. South Georgia is a perfect place for a red PT Cruiser convertable with a turbo engine.

4. My secret wish is to live on a deserted island with my dogs and a huge trunk of books and wait for the rapture while eating pineapple and kiwi and mangos.

5. If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life it would be grilled cheese.

6. I eat a little tiny bit of meat very occasionally, but I really wish I didn't.

7. I've never wanted children and at this point I still don't. I do have a fear though I'll wake up one day and be 40 and wish I would have.

8. I have no great desire to be married, but I am afraid to be the crazy cat lady and to die alone.

9. I wish I felt like I fit in with my family.

10. I give blood every 56 days like clockwork and feel guilty if I miss it by even a day.

11. I hate jury duty and am always glad when I say I work at a mental hospital they let me go :)

12. My current favorite movie is The Waitress and when I watch it I feel like I can make pies too! (I can't)

13. Still every Sunday 6 years later I miss my church in Kentucky and wonder sometimes why God didn't let me stay there!

14. I care nothing about being domestic and it's a huge chore every week to do housework.

15. After being on call all weekend I resist the urge every Monday to run over my cell phone with my car!

16. I have a tattoo on my left wrist that says Hope in Hebrew. I've never regretted it for a minute and it didn't hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would.

17. I hate this weekend because the time goes back an hour which makes me have to work another hour!

18. I love having something to look forward to and I'm happy I only have to wait 7 days for the next exciting thing!

19. My favorite restaurant of all time is 360 north downtown (if you come to visit I will so take you there!)

20. I wish it was Sunday night instead of Saturday night.

Until next time :)
Brenda