We set to work making her feel at home. My other two dogs quickly gave her the message, "Look. Nothing you can do is going to make her hurt you. Go ahead, pee on the floor. She'll look at you and say NO, but she won't hurt you." It took awhile, but Shine eventually got the message - she was safe here.
It's weird though how fear will creep back in when you least expect it. Last night I was taking a shower and Shine was fast asleep beside the tub. I was laughing at her because she was howling and moving her feet air running. I reached out to get a washcloth and a drop of water fell on her head.
She froze. The worst sound I've ever heard came from her soul. The best I can describe it is fear, panic and desperation mixed into a tiny painful sound. She covered her head with a paw and tried to get all 70 pounds of her into a ball. Meanwhile I'm saying, "Shine. It's okay. It's me. I love you." She didn't open her eyes long enough to see.
So, I did what I had to do. I climbed out of the shower soaking wet with conditioner still in my hair, grabbed a towel, and sat beside her on the floor. I physically opened her eyes and said, "Hi friend." She melted as her breathing slowed. I pulled her into my lap and held her for at least 30 minutes. Honestly, my hair needed the extra conditioning anyway.
But, as I went to sleep last night I realized I'm exactly in that place with the Lord. Old fears have crept in lately and are leaving me spiritually paralyzed. I understand that place of waiting for the drop of water to fall and then freaking out completely. I'm not so good at putting on a great spiritual front. I've found it's more helpful to just be there, wherever that is at the moment. Settle in and dig deep. I try to lean hard on what I know to be true. At the end of the day, I believe in a God bigger than my fears.
And sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is pray, "I want to love You and trust You with all of me, but I'm so afraid."
And I feel His sweet peace open the eyes of my soul and whisper, "Hi friend. It's okay. It's Me. I love you."