Closer

Several years ago I walked through a season where Heaven seemed entirely too far away to be helpful. It grated my nerves when people would talk about "up there" or "in the heavens." Mars seemed closer. I don't want a God who is a bazillion miles away and unreachable by human means. Oh, yes, right, I know, the Holy Spirit dwells within. Got it. But, I want them all close by.

We miss something by lumping the trinity into one being. They are separate and at least my relationship with each part, individualized. In short - God the Father, Holiness, Jesus, Friend, Holy Spirit, Guidance and Peace.

So, during that season, I decided Heaven was not somewhere far above the clouds. Heaven was just another demention not seen with human eyes. Like putting on 3D glasses, they're right next to us all the time. We just can't see. They operate in another realm, but they're not far away.

Now before you diagnose me schizophrenic and lock me up, I don't think it's that weird. In fact, it's comforting. Maybe it's just me, but those moments when God feels closer than my next breath confirms my theory. Those times good and bad where my soul aches, I remember I'm connected to something so much bigger than me.

I need a God who can come to this life before another tear falls.

I need to know when my human eyes close for the last time on this Earth, the eyes of my soul will see Him, instantly, face to face. And I'll wonder why I never "saw" Him before.

In my ongoing quest to be completely honest with God, I've been praying about some big things this week. Hard things. Questions without obvious answers. One night last week I was rattling off the list of things I needed Him to do when I literally stopped mid sentence. And I prayed, "I don't really need any of those things. What I need is You to be closer."

And God appeared like a genie in a bottle and granted me three wishes. No, not really. But, I knew He was there and that He cared about all the things that concern me. He delights in answering my prayers in accordance with His perfect will. He's comfortable with my questions, understanding of my humanity, and patient with my determination.

He's a God who comes running when His children call and ask Him to come closer.