It's been a weird season spiritually. I try not to go back and read posts from exactly one year ago because everything seemed just perfect. Life comes at you fast sometimes. But just this week I feel like God has come back around. The theology in that is lousy, but the feelings are good. Very good.
I've been asking God for a sign. Not like a make my front door mat wet in the morning and the porch dry kind of sign-just a "I'm still here with you on your journey" kind of sign. I've got the verses and the theology to stand firm on His promises, but sometimes you just want the feelings to accompany the truth, ya know?
I do not have a green thumb, but I do have excellent soil for growing roses. One of my rose bushes grows the most beautiful purple roses in April. The past 4 Aprils they have blossomed into an amazing array of lavender blooms. I call them April roses. That's the only month I've ever seen them. The rest of the year pink, red, white and yellow, but it's like the purple ones want to come out when it's just them. I get that.
Yesterday I was walking around my yard with the dogs and I looked up just to see a bush FULL of purple roses. I approached them quizzically. Finally I said (out loud)....."It's October." And I heard in the farthest reaches of my spirit, "It doesn't matter what month it is. Bloom anyway."
I almost cried.
Yes, circumstances at the moment don't add up to the most supported season. I've spent a LOT of quality alone time with the Lord, which may be just what my soul has needed. This season doesn't take the Lord by surprise. Even on the last visit to the mountaintop God knew this valley was right around the corner. It doesn't matter. He calls us to bloom anyway.
Bloom without great soil. Bloom without seemingly sufficient sunlight. Bloom in a season that feels like it's not really your time to shine. Bloom anyway.
And I plan to.