Monday, September 28, 2009

Fear continued

I'm an animal lover. Big time. If I could I'd have every animal at the shelter living at my house. I don't like to kill things-ever-and will spend a significant amount of time "convincing" them to leave via the door so I don't have to kill anything and feel bad about it later. Unless it's a roach or a spider in which case I have no conscience. I might also add that I don't like to buy bug killer. For some reason it makes me feel like a murderer so I usually "forget" to add it to my list. Don't send me e-mails. :)

Last week there was a HUGE wolf spider in the guest bathroom that the dogs were helping get rid of by staring it down. . . ahem. And since I have no bug killer and I refuse to step on anything (ewww!) I had to kill it with whatever I could find. In this case-Windex. Can I just say that it must have been the poor spiders greatest fear realized to be killed by something that is in fact poisionous but not immediately effective. By the end of the torture I just felt bad for the guy. But, he had to go.

It made me start thinking about fear. How quickly we can go from minding our own business to being scared to death. How immediately when something hits us that is uncomfortable, confusing, frustrating, difficult to handle or deadly-we flip out completely. Or maybe that's just me. And sometimes it does feel like things are coming right at us that will not immediately kill us, but sure make living uncomfortable.

It's so easy to trust the Lord when the path is laid to perfection before us. When the beginning blends easily into the ending and we know which step to take next. When our eyes are open, our hearts are clear and our intentions are honorable. The rest of the time life just takes a lot of work doesn't it?

Trusting when afraid is certainly not a spiritual quality I have mastered. Honestly-trusting while not afraid is not a spiritual quality I have mastered! But, I want to. I want to have a heart that trusts the One who is Trustworthy. I want more than anything to have a heart that rests in the One who knows my fears - real and imagined - and longs to comfort them.

No comments: