In Need of a Holy Week

I don't know about your life, but Holy Week has come at a perfect time for this one. I gave up myself this year for Lent and quite frankly it would have been easier to give up french fries! I've thought a lot about what it means to be all His in these days. I've questioned the motivation of my heart. I feel like I've experienced my own death, burial, and resurrection in a lot of ways.

Sitting in church this morning I couldn't help but desperately want to read the part of the Story where Jesus rises from the dead. My humanity doesn't want to read about the cross. I don't want to relive the suffering. I don't want my voice to be mixed within the crowd saying, "Crucify Him." I want to get to the empty tomb, the promise of hope and the resurrection. But the promise of life doesn't come without the fulfillment of death. We have to walk the road with Jesus to appreciate the empty tomb.

We find glimpses of our own humanity as we watch Jesus complete his mission on the earth. He cries out feeling forsaken by the Father. Ever been there? Me too. I find myself staring at the cross and saying deep within my soul, "You shouldn't have." Quickly grace floods in and I whisper, "But I'm so glad you did." Thankfulness overwhelms me as I scramble to find new ways to make this life worthy of the Ultimate Sacrifice. I sometimes think I need to let the mantra, "You died for me," play on repeat in my heart until it affects every aspect of my life.

So, this week I'll remember His sacrifice in a Seder tomorrow night, at various church services throughout the week, and in my own time with Him. I'll remember that freedom in Christ actually was a hefty cost. And even though it makes tears run down my face, even though it makes my stomach hurt, I'll force myself to look upon the cross with the Son of God hanging there - and remember. And I'll ask the same Father to make my life an honest reflection of the gift of salvation. Not just on Easter. Not just on Sunday. But every day until my very last one.