To be 30

It's so funny to me that the world puts such big emphasis on birthdays ending in 0. As if when turning 29 no one really expects anything of you but 30?? Whoa. You really need to start getting your act together. I've heard the whole range of comments-some meant well and some maybe not. Of course my favorite is - "You now have a better chance of getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery than getting happily married." WHAT IN THE WORLD? The invisible tattoo on my forehead that says tell me anything I can handle it MUST be removed!!

Someone said at 30 you really have to stop partying so much and settle down. Yeah. I'll work on that.

You're apparently supposed to stop renting at 30 and get a real house with a grown up mortgage. Did that 6 years ago. Check.

You're supposed to buy a "reasonable" vehicle whatever that means. And no thanks.

And here's the funniest one. "If you don't get a handle on your linen closet by 30 you never will." UMMMM WHAT??? But okay, that one seemed less painful than getting struck by lightning trying to get married so I did. I cleaned out my linen closet. I folded the 6 sets of sheets I own, put away the winter blankets, ironed a few things, put the extra towels on the right shelving and vacuumed the 2x2 square of carpet on the floor of the closet. It made me feel organized I suppose and now by some form of magic since I got it organized before I was 30 it will forever stay that way. Ha.

I suppose as we get older we should be more responsible. For instance, I used to throw clothes on my closet floor ALL the time. Now I remember first that at some point I'm going to have to spend hours cleaning my closet and usually I pick them up. I really love the concept of everything in it's place in general and I'm getting better at returning stuff there before it takes over my house. I know-I'm the epitome of maturity.

Much more importantly than my shoes ending up on the shoe rack though is my spiritual life. I have professed to know the Lord for 18 years now. In some ways that's a long time and I feel like I should be much further along in my relationship with Him. In other ways I feel like I could not have possibly scratched the surface of knowing who He is after such a short amount of time. After all, it will take us all of eternity to even begin to know Him completely.

The last 6 months of my life have been an adventure of taking Him at His word and I feel certain that will continue. To trust that He always has been and always will be enough. To know that regardless of how I feel I am loved by the Creator of the Universe every moment of my life and nothing I can do or not do will ever change that. And to accept the responsibility to grow up in Him. Spiritual maturity is not gained by simply aging. It's an intentional process that never ends.

And I so want that. I cannot tell you how many times just in the last weeks I have failed miserably at portraying Christ through this life and unfortunately I will again. But I'm taking comfort lately in the fact that it's not who I desperately want to be. I want to be all His. Sold out. Committed. Willing. Obedient. I want to look like Him, act like Him, walk like Him, handle things like He would and love like He does. All the time.

I don't know that I'll live to be 31. Who knows what could happen, but today, in this moment, I'm here and I want to know Him. I want to be grown up enough in Christ to take Him at His word. I want to really believe that He has my best interest at heart. I want to know Him. For real. And not just today. Every day.