Sunday, May 5, 2013

The Art of Procrastination - Writing Edition

As far as this writer is concerned, I spend most of my writing life ......not writing.  I think about writing.  I even plan whole days where I write intend to write.  I'm an expert, really.  So, if you don't know how to spend a whole day writing - I'll tell you all my secrets.  You're welcome.

Dear Diary, tomorrow I'm gonna write ALL day!  From like 6 a.m. to Midnight!  It's gonna be magical.  Goodnight!

6:00 a.m. Hit snooze button and condemn yourself for having a subscription to Netflix and staying up until 3 watching Hoarders to feel better about your closet.

6:10, 20, 30 .....Snooze

8:16 Have heartfelt conversation with yourself until you're convinced that true creativity needs rest and extra sleep will speed up the creative juices later in the day.  FOR SURE!

10:01 Fall OUT of bed having a dream that your manuscript was buried beneath a large pile of takout containers and bottled water.

10:02 make, drink, coffee - repeat, repeat, repeat.

10:28 decide to get dressed for the day in your writing clothes.  Find this t-shirt only slightly not so clean and put it on. 

10:40 Walk outside.  Even though it's 95 degrees and you never walk, go for a walk.  It's good to exercise.  You heard Dr. Oz say that recently and it definitely should start today.  Immediately.

11:20 Wander home.  Pat yourself on the back for getting started writing by noon.

11:22 Write an e-mail to a friend about how much you love being an author

11:25 Check book sales of your last book

11:27 Open Word document and save it as.....something.

11:30  Starving - you must have lunch.  Cooking from scratch really is healthier and besides, you can watch Homeland on your Kindle while you cook.  Efficient!! 

2:00 Tired from your big morning, take a nap.

3:34 Groggy, make coffee, drink, repeat.

3:40 Sit down at computer.  Make grocery list, dentist appointment, order shoes, and check Amazon for organic green beans while eating cheeze curls.

3:45 Google how to clean cheeze curl powder off keyboard.

4:06 Remember funny joke your friend told yesterday.  Find it on line and laugh all over again.  Share it on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  While you're there, might as well see what everyone is up to.

7:19 Where does the time go?  Think about that for a little bit and how life is fleeting.

8:00 Hungry again.  Should probably go eat with friends since that's where your material comes from anyway.  Eat good food.  Drink good wine.  Laugh and laugh and.....what time is it?

11:45 come home, get in your comfy pj's and check the computer one more time.  Open word document and write at the very top......

Chapter 1

11:59 Go to bed.


Meredith Gould said...

You needed to check Google? You didn't know you could lick the Cheese Curl powder off your keyboard? I'm a failure as a friend.

Rob said...

That's the way composing works too. And, often, service planning! We are so alike! (And Meredith, thanks for the tip!)