Sunday, April 21, 2013

Confirmation - one year later

Do you renew your commitment to Jesus Christ?

I do, and with God's grace I will follow him as my Savior and Lord.
Truth be told, I wasn't sure it was going to be that big of a deal.  I had just spent a year of my life in the trenches trying to convince people who weren't listening I was not going to Hell because I walked out the door of one denomination and into the doors of another.  And maybe, just a tiny bit, I was trying to convince myself, too. 

God knows I tried to find out for myself why joining the Episcopal Church was such a terrible idea.  But, it wasn't working.  I read doctrine and history.  I listened as people told me what the church meant to them.  Probably with arms crossed I told the priest during one of my confirmation sessions, "I'm not going to agree with everything in the Episcopal Church." 

She never missed a beat.  "Okay, that's fine."  Quickly apparent to me was this church let you think and have an opinion.  Fascinating! 

I even made a pro/con list, but never got past the first pro - "God led me to Christ Church."  I don't believe you can always trust your feelings, but sometimes you just know.  Run around, read a bunch of stuff, drive yourself crazy if you want to, but when God speaks - listen.

It's my experience that the important decisions are often fraught with opposition.  Test of faith?  Maybe.  An opportunity for God to get all the credit?  Absolutely.  And I'll gladly give it to Him because I still find myself at the altar sometimes thinking, "Wait, what?  How did I end up here?"

Confirmation was a spiritual line in the sand for me; a leap from confusion to confidence.  Oh, I loved the same God before and after.  My faith remained.  But, I was different.  And maybe that's the point of any true spiritual transformation anyway. 

God doesn't need me to defend Him or what he's up to in my life.  He only needs me to follow Him as my Lord and Savior.  And I will continue to.  With God's grace.

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