I find most of my insecurities are fed and watered by the lies in my own head. Ever hear the whisper of the enemy so loud it's deafening? Me too. A lot lately. And it's casually subtle - until it isn't.
You'll never be that so stop trying so hard.
You could never accomplish that.
That's a dream that will never happen. Give up while you still can.
Life doesn't get better from here.
People don't like you. You don't even like you!
God could care less about your phony attempts to love him. He could never love you anyway.
One at a time they seem almost manageable, but then come the days when it's a barrage of negativity. The days when your favorite jeans already don't fit, your hair is a mess and you're late-for everything. Days when you wonder where God is and how you could have possibly lost him in the first place. Days when you know the drama is high, but you just can't help yourself. Been there?
And a little thought emerges from the spiritual soil of your heart and without realizing it you ask yourself, "What if he's.....right? What if my future is bleak? What if my plans are in vain? What if he doesn't love me?"
On those days I like to gather up all the thoughts - the ones that make sense and the ones that don't. I try not to analyze them, but just pull them together into a giant heap of human confusion and breathe.
I wrap my hands as tightly as I can around them and remember that my control is limited and my heart frail. And I do give them to a God who is bigger and who thinks clearer because I have no idea where else to put them.
And I remember that his grace is sufficient......always.
His power is made perfect in my weakness......always.
And my security is in him......always.