Coming home Sunday night was an adventure. I suppose the closest I live to completely walking by faith is scheduling flights that get me home at the last possible minute. It has worked out fine enough times that I ask myself often, "What could go wrong?" Oops.
I was sitting at the airport in Baltimore waiting on a guy who was semi uninterested to determine my fate when it hit me. Spiritual hangover. I had spent most of 3 days discussing, sharing, questioning, thinking about how God shows up and how he remains when things are hard. Incredible, life changing conversations, but in that moment I was a little overwhelmed. I had no idea how I would start to move all this external information inside. How the wonderful truths would translate into my own life. And it didn't help that I was very tired.
I leaned my head against the airport wall and prayed, "God. I want this life to matter. Not because I do, but because you do. A lot of the time I feel stuck and frustrated and lonely and in your way, but if you can use me where I am, I want nothing more. It doesn't even have to be big things, but gentle reminders that you are at work would help a lot. No rush. I'm willing to wait on you and for once I think I really mean that. Amen."
I opened my eyes to mass hysteria. 50+ people not able to get to all kinds of things because the plane was late. Most of the connections wouldn't be made. By now the guy at the desk told me, "Get to Charlotte and run. Good luck." Thankfully my spiritual gift is running in heels. I was reading a book minding my own business when a college aged woman came up to use the pay phone beside me. She fumbled with her credit card and I immediately recognized the look of incoming tears. She needed to be at her destination by 8 a.m. and she wasn't going to make it. For real.
I looked at my own phone and looked up, "Do you need to use my phone?" She burst into tears quickly telling me how she left her phone charging on accident and was now in a big mess. I handed it to her and said, "Take your time, really." She made several calls and returned it still crying.
She asked, "Are you going to get home tonight?"
I smiled and said, "I don't know."
She said, "But it's going to be alright?"
I said, "Absolutely."
She smiled and left and I prayed she would live within God's very best for her all the days of her life. As God settled into that moment I remembered again that the greatest use of my life is always meeting the needs right in front of me.
And that's the greatest calling.