My greatest possessions are the Bible I read through cover to cover in 90 days a few years ago and my first copy of Jesus Calling. Both have pages coming out. Both have been read in the darkest hours of the night blurred by tears and followed by the willing whisper of a hurting heart, "I trust You." Both tend to get tossed haphazardly on a shelf somewhere in the good times and both are what I run to first when things get rocky. There's comfort in familiarity.
This morning I woke up with the unsettled feeling that I had to take Ella to the vet. She's always had health trouble. A bad back, 2 eye surgeries and a recent cyst removal have cost me more than Starbucks over time. I felt pretty certain this morning that she had a stroke.
Ella is rarely on a leash. She never leaves my side. She flat refuses to ride anywhere in the car except in my lap. She will not fall asleep until some part of her is touching some part of me. She's the best snuggler and a great friend.
The news from the vet today was, thankfully, good. It's not a stroke. It's nerve damage that will repair itself. Unlike the vet bill, the journey my soul walked through with the Lord today was priceless. Today, I worried I might lose my dog, but any day at any time it could be just about anything trying to step in and steal our peace.
Life happens. Some days are hard. Questions don't always have answers. We don't want what's comforting to disappear.
A heart yielded completely to Him can bow at His feet, sometimes with a breaking heart and tears that won't stop, and whisper,
"I trust You even if......"
"I'll love You even if....."
"No matter what......I'm Yours."
From Jesus Calling: When I appeared to My disciples after the resurrection, it was Peace that I communicated first of all. I knew this was their deepest need: to calm their fears and clear their minds. I also speak Peace to you, for I know your anxious thoughts. Draw near to Me; receive My Peace.
I'm flipping through that Bible that's falling apart tonight thankful for peace in the process and ultimately for the Prince of Peace.