Outta here

As I'm getting ready to literally circle the country next week for a much needed few days away and to see a couple of my favorite people, I'm remembering this post by my sweet friend Sandy King and feeling kind of the same way. (ok, not that the 2 I'm meeting are ax murderers......I'm sure at least 1 of them isn't!).

The online world has opened up crazy opportunities to know people that without twitter/facebook/blogging/social media I'd never know. I don't write on here a lot about the virtual abbey (@Virtual_Abbey) but I could, in some way, almost every day. It amazes me all the time how much of my life is consumed (in a good way) with e-mails, tweets, fb messages, phone calls, Skype calls and messages and texts from people that a year ago I had no idea were on their way. Always feel on any given day that God is whispering that to all of us, "hold on-you don't know the good things I have coming."

And so I'm thankful for so many people-a virtual community of believers around the world to pray, share, and grow with. You don't think those are real relationships? I'd have to disagree. And on that note I'm thankful to know, and about to know many more IRL.

No doubt God is at work.

So yeah I think meeting new people is a little intimidating. No doubt I like myself better on the blog some days than IRL too! But, I'm encouraged by the 2 people I met just this week who almost jumped on me and said, "YOU ARE! YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR BLOG!!!" Yep, it's all me :) Now, I just have to figure out is if they like the blog!!! Yikes!! :)

Hope you all have a perfect week! I'll be back in a week :)

In case you didn't know

This +
This even with

Will eventually =

This.

And now this.

Without (much) further adieu

February book club!!! And YES it's on kindle :) Don't feel like you need this one?? Yeah, read it and find out. As always, send me your comments via any form of media you prefer and I'll post it into one entry at the end of February. Happy reading!

My top blog posts of 2010

I pulled my blog stats for the year just because it makes me curious sometimes who's reading what. Always find it SO interesting. Like that 35 people in Italy read my blog regularly?? And I feel like I should say a huge THANK YOU to all of you for clicking into this site more than 5000 times this year. I started this blog for my own catharsis and that you ever find something interesting, encouraging, or inspiring is ALL Jesus. Blessed to be on this journey with all of you.

Without further rambling......
Here's my most read blog posts of 2010 in order of popularity!

1. God Speaking. http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/09/god-speaking-repost.html
2. Safe Now http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/11/safe-now.html
3. 500th Post http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/10/500th-post.html
4. When Virtual Becomes Reality http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/11/when-virtual-becomes-reality.html
5. Singles Anonymous http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/11/singles-anonymous.html
6. You're Not Catholic http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/12/youre-not-catholic.html
7. The Question on my Soul's Table http://brendakeller.blogspot.com/2010/12/question-on-my-souls-table.html

February book club title coming later today and new posts the rest of the week!!

Muah!
Brenda

Be careful what you ask for

I'm recovering from an ulcer in my eye this week which has been less than enjoyable. I wrote this earlier this week for something else and I'm going to use it for today's post.

Up all night with searing eye pain. Hurt to open it hurt to close it. Didn't want to cry (salt water in there? No). Long long exhausting scary night. Went to Dr. this morning expecting a scratched cornea. Diagnosed with an ulcer in my eye. They panicked and I joined them. Pretty serious. Very scary. The pain mixed with fear was not good. Couldn't go to work. Decided to worry about all I had to do there while I was at it. Made it home with strict instructions to keep it closed, rest, no light and round the clock meds every 2 hours.

When I stopped panicking long enough to hear I heard God say, "this is what you're asking of me. Concentrated, set apart, quiet time with me. Go with it.".

Do I think God gave me an ulcer in my eye? No. Do I think God can use this for my spiritual benefit? For sure. It's been a mixed day. Moments of sweet peace and rest in His presence. Having to just be. Can't read, can't do-just being with Him. Sweet sweet moments.

And, the opposite. Eye medicine that hurts way more than the eye itself. Literal fear when the alarm goes off every 2 hours. Misery.

But-what God has spoken to me above everything else in these days is "there is pain in the light". The Dr. pointed her light into my eye and lightning went through my whole body. She apologized but said, "it's the only way."

The same is true for this journey this year to find His heart. I'd love to post on here every day about how easy life is and how wonderful that He's in control while I trust Him perfectly. But, it's not always that simple and that's rarely the truth. Life is hard. Learning to trust Him is hard. Coming face to face with the parts of me that look/act nothing like Him is devastating. Bringing those things to the light is crucial. Yes-pain in the light mixed with the eventual promise of glorious freedom.

I can hear the Spirit who wants spiritual wholeness for me more than I do saying, "it's the only way".

Thankful for
1. An impromptu day of "rest". For moments of peace. For remembering sooner than I have before that faith trumps fear every time.

2. For people who are willing to take my responsibilities when I cannot from work to prayer tonight-remembering it's okay to ask for help.

3. For not feeling stuck spiritually anymore. This journey has eliminated that from my thinking. It's a great burden to lose.

Learning to be still

It's January 4th and I'm so thankful for my new year's resolution already. The desire to give this year to the Lord and to be present with Him has already guided my thoughts, determined my actions, and granted me peace. Establishing accountability has been key. Grateful that God knows what we need and provides it when we need it. I mentioned to a friend the other day, "It's amazing. As much as I want to be with Him, I will never want Him as much as He does me. Incredible." Laying a foundational habit of spending time with Him is the key to spiritual growth and finding true peace. Loving this year already.

To newness of life

I don't care at all for endings. I like to keep my favorite things forever. I'm crazy loyal to the people to which I feel like being loyal. I like the people I love to stay. It upsets me more than it should when Philosophy discontinues my lipstick (Hey! I was committed to YOU!), Starbucks cancels my favorite mug right after I break mine, or I can't find Ken's Northern Italian Dressing (I'm from the NORTH-I want it!). I don't like when things are finished, done, over with, ended.....or uncertain, up in the air for that matter.

When Jesus breathes his last from the cross and says, "It is finished," my heart instantly breaks for the disciples every time I read it. I'm afraid having been one of them I'd have been forever documented as a raving lunatic. "WAIT!! You don't have to leave. You can prepare a place right here. There's land RIGHT down the street! When you said you're coming back soon you mean like at lunch?? Like in a month??? WHEN???" Sigh.

I'm always a little happier for the followers when Jesus leaves them with the sweet Holy Spirit. The sense of His presence must have made Heaven feel a little less far away. And today He's still a beautiful, daily, moment by moment reminder that God truly is with us.

In the new year may you remember that there is new, life giving life in Him. Yes, for salvation, but also for an all the time whenever we need it do-over. Closer than the air you breathe, more dependable than your next heart beat, ever faithful, He loves you. When He came and died He did away with the uncertainty of endings. And one day, may we all discover, that the end of what we know of life is really just the beginning.