Peace Love Jesus and Coffee

Not surprising, but still entertaining that this found it's way onto my desk today.  If the sides and title of this blog didn't give it away - I love coffee.  No, really, I do.  I love the way it tastes, the way it smells, and how it represents quality time shared with friends and quiet moments with God.  


I love when people ask me over for coffee.  There's no pretense, no expectations, only time.    I've spent many hours at Starbucks laughing and crying with those I adore the most.  Time is my love language and mixing that with caffeine and long discussions of Jesus is Heaven on Earth for moi.


Added to a life of 2 full time jobs, yoga, church, friends, home and 3 dogs.....this week I started my Masters Degree in Psychology.  It's an intense program with 10 projects and 10 papers due every 10 weeks.  That seemed easier when I was signing paperwork.  But, I'm determined to not just finish this degree, but finish well.  And that decision starts at the beginning.  


My two observations so far are....


1. Success is going to require a lot of coffee.  I've spent 12 hours at Starbucks already since Wednesday doing research, writing and reading.  What can I say?  I focus better with free refills.


2.  I need God big time.  More than once this week, waves of being completely overwhelmed have threatened to knock me over.  I've asked myself if I can honestly do well all that I'm committed to and still properly care for my own well being.  Can I work hard, play hard, study hard and rest enough to hear the voice of God whispering his plans and love into my life?  


I've combated these fears with a few plans....


1.  I'm adding more yoga classes.  I know that seems counter productive to time management, but it's critical for soul care.


2.  I'm returning to strict keeping of the daily office.  Prayer is my saving grace, but the rhythm of prayer gives me a map for my days.  I'm rekindling daily scripture reading and making a concentrated effort to find God in every moment of every day.


3.  I'm nurturing the communities to which I belong and maintaining the God connections in my life.  I need the break of lunch or dinner with friends, yoga with people of a similar mindset, and deep conversations on a walk or over coffee with spiritual people who encourage and inspire me to love God in the messy places.  


And I'm coming back around to where I started:


Peace - that I'm where I am on this journey and moving forward for reasons I may not know.


Love - Keeping those God has entrusted to me close and showing up often for those relationships.


Jesus - He's enough.  He just is.
And 


Coffee - Because sometimes it's what ties it all together.

Monastic answers to death and dying

No secret - I love the monastic life.  Had I arrived on this Earth a different gender, drawn to a different denomination and with a different calling......I would have been a monk.  Spend my days with the liturgy of the hours and like minded people in a community of prayer?  Sign me up.  As it turns out, that is not my calling, but the life I live is forever better from time spent in their homes.


The Abbey of Gethsemani will forever hold a special place in my life as the first monastery where I spent much time with the daily office.  But, in recent years, mostly due to location, the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, GA has become a second home to me.  The schedule is rigid, but the monks are more laid back, easy to talk to, and several have a wicked killer Godly sense of humor.  

Father Corley was the first monk to welcome me the Monastery of the Holy Spirit.  He was animated and friendly and such a wonderful example of one content to be living out his true calling.  He died last week just 2 months shy of his 100th birthday and I've been thinking ever since how much I love the way monks care for the sick and dying.


The monastery infirmary has 10 rooms and 4 additional rooms serve as assisted living.  Brother Amelio had this to say about caring for one of the monks dying there -  

"I am amazed at his calmness, something I am sure that I would not have if it was me going through this procedure. He is a man of deep faith, prayerful, kind, thoughtful and insightful, so he has a lot of maturity that he is bringing with him to the table. I suppose his whole life has prepared him for this moment. It is no accident that he is this way, his maturity is based on a multitude of small choices over the years, that have led him to be the man he is today. Growing old in a graceful manner is not an accident, at least in my opinion."


They care for each other.  They are committed to working out their differences and living together in harmony.  The strong help the weak and the weak accept support when needed.  In my experience there, the living care for the dying and the dying inspire and encourage the living.  And not just physically.  It's a place where you can be whatever you are at the moment.  Strong, weak, questioning, filled with answers, assured, insecure, angry, peaceful, hurt, confused......it's fine as long as you're committed to finding God at that particular juncture on your journey.  And at the heart of those who love Him, who isn't?  


The answers to death and dying in the monastic life are simple - Be there.  Show up.  Don't shy away from the heartbreak of death when people need you most.  Be alive in your grief and be present every moment of every day.  Come to think of it - that's how they do most things.


I'm grateful for Father Corley and the many monks there that allow fellow travelers to find Christ in all circumstances as a guest in their home.  I've found many answers within those walls and will continue to.  But, the next time I go, I'm pretty certain it will feel like someone is missing.


Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let your perpetual light shine upon him. May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Next I'm going to

Finally decide on going to grad school?   Check.

Enroll in grad school?  Check.

Get accepted to grad school?  Check.

On-line education?  Yes.

Master's in Psychology?  In process.

Starting May 16th ready. or. not. ?

Indeed.

Here we go!

Thankful Thursday

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 33:20

Thankful this week.....


For a church family.  I hope you never have to, but if you ever spend a year without one, you'll appreciate it more when it comes around.  Still feeling such great love from a faithful God after Saturday's confirmation service.  


For Uncertainty.  It has arrived on multiple levels in many ways this week and has forced me to remember God is trustworthy.  I don't have to have all the answers or know everything. And although uncertainty is so uncomfortable, it is not impossible when we place our trust in a God who is working all things together for good.


The AP approved starting a sentence with hopefully.  Especially good since I do it all the time anyway.  My writing breathes an unedited sigh of relief.


Starbucks and lots of reading and writing accomplished there this week.  Blessed are the caffeinated.  (Amen).


For Peace.  Peace has wrapped itself around this heart and settled in.  May it always feel at home within and extending from this life.


Happy Thursday, friends!

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

Remember to pray before you eat.

Confirmation

All I knew walking into Christ Church the first Sunday of January 2011 was if this church didn't feel like home, I wasn't going anywhere else ever again.  Dramatic?  Maybe.  The truth?  For sure.  I wouldn't say God acts on our threats necessarily, but I do think he knows, maybe before we do, when we've waited long enough.  

I knew nothing about the Episcopal faith and no one.  I had no idea where to find the words, the music, and spent much of that first hour amazed that everyone seemed to know when to sit, stand, kneel.  I was fascinated and completely freaked out during The Peace when random people started hugging me and shaking my hand.  "We're so glad you're here!" Something in my heart couldn't help but believe them.

All I knew leaving that first day was I had to go back.  And I did.  Again and again and again.  Until I knew when to stand.  Until the prayers started getting way deeper than the words of my mouth.  Until everything I grew up believing about the liturgical faith began to unravel.  Quickly.  It started slowly seeping into everything I thought I knew......Jesus was here.....too.

I'd spend the next year asking God to let the truth surface.  That more than what I knew for sure, more than what I thought I might know - he would reveal the truth.  He's been gracious and faithful to answer that prayer.

Saturday I received Confirmation into the Episcopal faith.  I've yet to find adequate words to describe what happened at that alter, but in the days to come, I will.  It felt in that moment, surrounded by my closest friends and the body of Christ, that the struggle was worth it.  And all I really know for sure is that it felt like a definite end to a complicated chapter.

But, not just an end.  A brand new beginning.  All of the details I don't have yet, but the start of something good for sure.  So, where to go from here?  

"Go in peace to love and serve the Lord!"

Yes.  I'll start with that.

**Confirmation service at St. Thomas in Thomasville, GA.  

Friday iPhone Photo Dump

 I know.  I'm a slacker blogger.  I have some good and not so good excuses, but for today I'll post what I've been up to via iPhone photo dump.  I've been figuring out how to make this wreath so I don't have to steal it off the doors of my church.  I still might......

 I've been loving sweet gifts in the mail from friends and really wishing they lived a lot closer.  All applications for out of town friendships are currently closed :)

 I've been loving the days being longer and getting to watch the sunset when I walk the dogs at night.  

 I've been helping this sweet girl recover from her surgery.  She's even more adorable on drugs and is now all better!

 I've been reading lots of Anne Lamott and pondering this tweet.  A lot.  

 I've been watching mindless tv because that's all my brain can really keep up with at the moment.  Odyssey and I are loving the Real Housewives on the Kindle Fire.  

There's been LOTS of hours at the gym, not enough sleep and not enough fun and that's left my household feeling like this.  BUT, stay tuned......there are good things and more to talk about coming soon!