Thankful Thursday

We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 33:20

Thankful this week.....


For a church family.  I hope you never have to, but if you ever spend a year without one, you'll appreciate it more when it comes around.  Still feeling such great love from a faithful God after Saturday's confirmation service.  


For Uncertainty.  It has arrived on multiple levels in many ways this week and has forced me to remember God is trustworthy.  I don't have to have all the answers or know everything. And although uncertainty is so uncomfortable, it is not impossible when we place our trust in a God who is working all things together for good.


The AP approved starting a sentence with hopefully.  Especially good since I do it all the time anyway.  My writing breathes an unedited sigh of relief.


Starbucks and lots of reading and writing accomplished there this week.  Blessed are the caffeinated.  (Amen).


For Peace.  Peace has wrapped itself around this heart and settled in.  May it always feel at home within and extending from this life.


Happy Thursday, friends!

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

Remember to pray before you eat.

Confirmation

All I knew walking into Christ Church the first Sunday of January 2011 was if this church didn't feel like home, I wasn't going anywhere else ever again.  Dramatic?  Maybe.  The truth?  For sure.  I wouldn't say God acts on our threats necessarily, but I do think he knows, maybe before we do, when we've waited long enough.  

I knew nothing about the Episcopal faith and no one.  I had no idea where to find the words, the music, and spent much of that first hour amazed that everyone seemed to know when to sit, stand, kneel.  I was fascinated and completely freaked out during The Peace when random people started hugging me and shaking my hand.  "We're so glad you're here!" Something in my heart couldn't help but believe them.

All I knew leaving that first day was I had to go back.  And I did.  Again and again and again.  Until I knew when to stand.  Until the prayers started getting way deeper than the words of my mouth.  Until everything I grew up believing about the liturgical faith began to unravel.  Quickly.  It started slowly seeping into everything I thought I knew......Jesus was here.....too.

I'd spend the next year asking God to let the truth surface.  That more than what I knew for sure, more than what I thought I might know - he would reveal the truth.  He's been gracious and faithful to answer that prayer.

Saturday I received Confirmation into the Episcopal faith.  I've yet to find adequate words to describe what happened at that alter, but in the days to come, I will.  It felt in that moment, surrounded by my closest friends and the body of Christ, that the struggle was worth it.  And all I really know for sure is that it felt like a definite end to a complicated chapter.

But, not just an end.  A brand new beginning.  All of the details I don't have yet, but the start of something good for sure.  So, where to go from here?  

"Go in peace to love and serve the Lord!"

Yes.  I'll start with that.

**Confirmation service at St. Thomas in Thomasville, GA.  

Friday iPhone Photo Dump

 I know.  I'm a slacker blogger.  I have some good and not so good excuses, but for today I'll post what I've been up to via iPhone photo dump.  I've been figuring out how to make this wreath so I don't have to steal it off the doors of my church.  I still might......

 I've been loving sweet gifts in the mail from friends and really wishing they lived a lot closer.  All applications for out of town friendships are currently closed :)

 I've been loving the days being longer and getting to watch the sunset when I walk the dogs at night.  

 I've been helping this sweet girl recover from her surgery.  She's even more adorable on drugs and is now all better!

 I've been reading lots of Anne Lamott and pondering this tweet.  A lot.  

 I've been watching mindless tv because that's all my brain can really keep up with at the moment.  Odyssey and I are loving the Real Housewives on the Kindle Fire.  

There's been LOTS of hours at the gym, not enough sleep and not enough fun and that's left my household feeling like this.  BUT, stay tuned......there are good things and more to talk about coming soon!

Prone to Wander

 I'm happiest when I'm wandering, especially somewhere new.  While at Amelia Island last week, I spent some time at Fort Clinch climbing walls and considering how fun it would be to own a cannon.  

 I thought about the line from the hymn, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it," and couldn't help but think, "not really."  Oh, I know what Robert Robinson meant and I echo his sentiments.  I don't want to be wandering from the Lord, either.  

 But, I have to believe it's possible to wander to the Lord.  A different book, a new idea, experiencing a new tradition, finding him to be faithful and showing up when we aren't looking all draw us to him.

 I stumble in the darkness, but I wander toward the light.  "I am the light of the world."  Even in a tiny rundown fort never used in battle, he shines.  Historical settings make it easier for me to worship the ageless one.  "I was.  I am.  I am to come"

So, I won't pray for a heart that doesn't wander.  Some of my best spiritual discoveries have come from forks in the road.  My best God moments have been in an unknown place, wandering a road less traveled with people who have different ideas.  I will pray that all my wanderings bring me closer to Home and closer to Him.

Finishing 31

I'm wrapping up this year of my life with a little trip to the beach. Today I stood in the ocean at high tide with wild wind and let myself be hit by gigantic waves. Over and over and over again.

Sometimes it's good to feel small. Human.

I find it significantly easier to surrender when drowning in salt water. It doesn't hurt on occasion to let the Creator remind me I am created. Limited. Dependent.

My days are in his hands. My future secure in him. I forget sometimes, but it's still true.

And tonight, as the sun sets, I'm thankful for another year. Thankful for the times the waves have been overpowering and for the grace that has poured in as they've subsided. For the good times. The hard times. The in between times. And most thankful that the One the winds and the waves obey expects nothing less from me.

In this new year of life, I hope He finds me more trustworthy, faithful, obedient and loving. And if I'm still here 365 days from now, I hope I know Him better than I do today.

The journey continues....

Rescued

I always refer to my pup Shine as my rescue dog. It's true that I rescued her from being put to sleep mere hours before the injection, but really, she rescued me.

I didn't know the day I picked her up from the pound smelling like old urine, infested with heartworms and limping from a torn knee meniscus that I was the one who would need saving.

I didn't know I was entering into a season where I would find the reassurance in the bright brown eyes of a happy lab mix who seemed heaven sent to help me believe in love unconditional.

She runs faster than my healthy dogs limping to greet me first. She throws all 70 pounds of herself into my lap at every opportunity clueless that she's not exactly a lap dog. When I'm on the couch reading she jumps all the way up, licks my hand and jumps down again just to reassure me she's there.

People were mean to her the whole first year of her life and yet her eyes leak trust and forgiveness.

She's been sick the past few weeks with a bad bladder infection and now bladder stones. She will have surgery on Thursday, but as we wait it's breaking my heart to know she's hurting. It's super hard and painful for her to go potty and she flinches when I open the door for her to go out.

At 3 am I sat on the back porch with her. She didn't seem to be in a hurry and I'm not one to judge the length of time it takes to gather strength. So we sat there together and waited. Bathed in moonlight and comforted in companionship I savored the peace of that moment.

I remembered there's joy in the waiting and even though it feels that way sometimes, I'm not alone. Someone who knew me from the foundation of the world knows my every thought, every tear, every frustration and every moment. And he reaches down with compassionate love and invites me to be rescued.