Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Thank you for praying for Ryan and Missy. The update today was not good for Ryan. I'll let them speak for themselves.

Ryan is our hero
Doctor George told us the news this morning that Ryan is out of treatment options. The bone scan shows the disease has progressed throughout his body and that his poor counts cannot recover from any type of chemotherapy required to simply battle it. He is in severe pain as the time wears off on his medicine. We are spending the night here again to get blood and platelets. The extra time will also help with the transition from iv pain killers to oral. Please pray that we have the ability to make Ryan as comfortable as possible. That he can have fun with his friends and family and we have half his strength and fortitude to walk bravely beside him. Les, Missy, Heidi, Will and SuperRyan

Missy continues to fight as well. Please keep praying for this family!

the tallest of smalls

There's a new kids book coming out by Max Lucado called The Tallest of Smalls. We read an excerpt of it yesterday when the sales rep was in the store and it so struck a chord in my heart. Don't you ever just feel SMALL? Gosh, I feel like that all the time lately. Not quite good enough, strong enough, stable enough, financially secure enough, physically fit enough, healthy eating enough, fearless enough, hopeful enough, gracious enough, kind enough-I could go on and on and on and on. You know like just below average or maybe a lot below average! The best seems like a far off unattainable goal to yours truly-sometimes I just want to get to average!

And it's hard for my independent self to realize we are supposed to be small. We're supposed to be human. We're only supposed to be large and magnificent IN HIM. If we could accomplish true greatness on our own we would not need Him and we were made to be dependent.

I tell people often that in some way every time your heart beats that's God saying, "beat, beat, beat" If He stops saying it-it stops beating. We can't even get our hearts to beat without Him! Without Him controlling the wind and the waves we'd all end up in the ocean. Without Him controlling the Moon we'd either burn up or freeze to death in fractions of a second. He is creator. We are created. We can do nothing alone. Nothing. Even if we try to run away from Him, we'd be using the brain and the legs he gave us to try (feebly) to get away. To no avail-He's everywhere.

But sometimes being small is still kind of lonely and unfulfilled feeling. It just is!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Missy and Ryan

Just a quick update. Please pray for Missy and Ryan today. Neither are doing well. Thanks!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Books(bump) books books books

Boneman's Daughter-Ted Dekkar
Reason for God-Timothy Keller
Dr. Gott's No sugar No flour book - Dr. Gott

Let Go-Sheila Walsh *****
Handle With Care-Jodi Picoult ****
First Drop of Rain-Leslie Parrott *****

Pawn-Steven James
In Constant Prayer-Robert Benson
Between the Dreaming and the Coming True-Robert Benson
The Return of the Prodigal Son-Henri Nouwen
Redeeming Love-Francine Rivers
Sophie's Choice-Lori Wick
The Ragamuffin Gospel-Brennen Manning
Eternal Security-Charles Stanley
Prism Weight Loss System-Karen Kingsbury

Take One-Karen Kingsbury
Living Prayer-Robert Benson
The Body Broken-Robert Benson
Voluntary Madness-Norah Vincent
Dr. Gott's No sugar No flour cookbook-Dr. Gott
The Furious Longing of God-Brennen Manning (again)
The New Sugar Buster's shopping Guide
The Tenth Circle-Jodi Picoult
Nineteen Minutes-Jodi Picoult
Songs of the Humpback Whale-Jodi Picoult
Three Cups of Tea-Greg Mortensen
Rook-Steven James (again)
Knight-Steven James
Here's to Hindsight-Tara Leigh Cobble
Lost and Found-Kathryn Slattery
Love starts with Elle-Rachel Hauck
Daisy Chain-Mary Demuth
Fathered by God-John Eldredge
The Blue Parakeet-Scott McKnight
Finding our Way Again - Brian McLaren
A Good Life-Robert Benson
Complete Book of Raw Food-Rodwell
Salty Like Blood-Harry Kraus


Well I hope you all are ordering your copy of The 1st drop of rain by Leslie Parrott. I finished it today at lunch and it is AMAZING. Wow. I'm dying to talk about it, but I'll refrain. Sigh. You guys better tell me your favorite part as soon as you know so I'll have someone to share it with! We'll discuss it June 1st. Patience is a virtue :) Sigh again.

I don't know about you but I'm so sick of distractions in my life. It's an ongoing battle for me. There's so much I have to get done, so much I need to get done and so much I want to get done that there's not time to just be! I know when I start daydreaming of long strolls in the park, bubble baths and good books and sitting on the back porch I'm well overdue for a mental health day! I have no time to take one anytime soon, but I'm still looking forward to it :-)

My priorities are all out of whack and I'd really like to get them lined back up this week! I'm not really sure how I'll accomplish that, but I'm going to try. Sometimes I think we get so stressed out about things that were never God's intentions for us in the first place. And then we wonder why we live in constant frustration!

This verse has been on my heart lately. I'll leave you with it for today!

1 Peter 1:8-9 You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see Him, yet you trust Him-with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believeing you'll get what you're looking forward to-total salvation.

Friday, April 24, 2009

May Book of the Month

May Book of the Month selection is The First Drop of Rain by Leslie!

What a week

Well, as I've already said this week, I love being productive. But a very productive week followed by a LONG weekend at work isn't alway the easiest to manage. Here's what I managed to accomplish this week-

-Tires rotated
-Oil Changed
-Floors waxed
-House cleaned
-Cooked dinner for friends
-TONS of laundry
-All 3 Dogs walked several times
-Dogs bathed
-Garage cleaned up
-Sorted through 2 closets
-Hair done
-New makeup
-lots of errands
-took 2 dogs to birthday party at Petsmart
-Necessary trip to the grocery store
-Plus working extra hours this week

Whew! And less you think I've turned into Martha Stewart, my house is already a little messy with 12 paws and 2 feet coming in last night from a walk!

The Birthday Party at Petsmart was super fun. So many cute dogs. We had a great time. I think eventually Ella got tired of all the sniffing! I told her to tell them No means No :)

Since my blog is so book related I will confess that I have not read a book all week! I haven't missed a week of reading in forever! I didn't really do it on purpose, just too tired by the end of the day. I'm hoping to get at least a little reading time in this weekend. I'll update my reading list next week as well.

And speaking of reading, I Have heard you! You don't want the bookclub to leave the blog-got it. I will continue posting it on here!! I will update later today with the May selection and we will pick it up there. I aim to please :)

I'm off to get some work done and drink at least 2 cups of coffee (that would be cutting back for me!) Live the life right out of this day my friends. Jesus loves you and he's proud to have you as His child. Love Him back!


Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Prayer Requests

There is so much hurt in the world today. I know you know. Some of you are living in the very pit of Hell in your life right now. Many of you have told me even recently that this is more than you can bear-whatever it is.

I was talking to someone the other day who made a profound statement. She said, "I just want to give up but once you know the Lord there's nowhere else to go but up with Him!" She's right. Where are you going to fall back to? Satan? Hopelessness is everywhere in the world today-financially, physically, psychologically and spiritually.

Many people have asked for prayer lately and I just want to mention them on here. Would you pray with me for these people?

Baby Kayleigh-born very premature, but was doing well. yesterday she had a stroke and they are fearful that now she is brain dead.

Baby Stellen-made it through heart surgery and now recovering. Their family has been through so much!

Super Ryan and his mom-both with cancer and beating the odds everyday. Pray for continued endurance even when there is no cure.

A pastor who is currently in a VERY deep depression. Pray God would help him find the right path out of such despair.

The military people who are coming off of deployment and struggling so much with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, lack of sleep, nightmares, flashbacks, depression, guilt and fear. Pray for those who are active duty too.

And there are many more. God is faithful even in the worst of times. Know that He loves you today, he knows you today and he cares for you today. Whether you are facing things certain or uncertain, known or unknown, past present or future-he knows and he's there. Much love from the Father to all of you today! :)

Earth Day

Happy Earth Day! I can't help it-I just think Americans as a rule are WASTEFUL-myself included. It makes me nutto to think of how much junk I throw away alone-ugh. I'm not saying that one person can reverse global warming (God knows how long the Earth will last!), but I am saying one person can make a difference-for sure. Here's some things I do as often as possible that are Earth Friendly-give them a try!

1. Change the lightbulbs in your house to the energy efficient brands. No joke I have done this as my bulbs have burned out and now my whole house is full of them. They have a softer light and my electric bill is cheaper.

2. The next time you replace an appliance switch to an energy efficient one. Look for the energy star label.

3. Stop using disposable bags. Oh my word this is so easy and really makes a big difference. Plus there are so many earth friendly cute bags now or bags with your grocery store logo, etc. I keep them in my trunk so when I go to the store I have them.

4. Conserve energy. Turn off lights. I'm a huge fan of candles at night especially if I'm just watching TV or reading. Also, unplug your stuff. Everything plugged in (cell phone charger, coffee maker, etc.) runs on reserve power when you leave them plugged in. It's unnecessary so unplug stuff!

5. Pay bills on line. I do this because it's super convenient but it also saves a ton on paper.

6. Take quicker showers. Aim for 5 minutes.

7. Donate usable items to your local goodwill. It's good for the economy and the environment.

8. Repurpose items. I cut old towels and some clothing into rags ALL the time. I use them to clean up outside, clean out the car, etc. And if I have something really messy to clean up I don't mind throwing them away after they've been used for something else.

9. Wash clothes in cold water. I do it all the time. It works fine.

10. Use a reusable water bottle. THIS is the hardest one for me personally. Bottled water is so dang convenient, but it is expensive and the drain on landfills with all that plastic is totally ridiculous. I'm trying my best and have cut way back even recently.

So, happy earth day! What have you done to help your home planet today?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I love being productive I just don't always accomplish it! But last night I had the most productive day I've had in a LONG time. Worked then ran home for a minute, tires rotated, picked up dinner, haircut, pedicure, new makeup, target, cleaned my house (waxed the floors!), did 6 loads of laundry (don't ask how 1 person has so much laundry-I honestly don't know), and still made it to bed before 1! YIPPEE!

And tonight I'm so excited! My friend Tammy and I and a few other friends are taking our dogs to a birthday party at Petsmart. Adorable. Odyssey will act like a crazy dog and Ella will be unimpressed, but I think they'll enjoy it. Shine, the new dog is staying home because well, 2 is plenty! Then we're all having dinner at my house. Such a fun night! I can't wait.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Far Country

I've mentioned before on here that I love Andrew Peterson's music. I'm especially enjoying an older CD of his called Far Country. I think living on Earth with the promise and expectation of Heaven is a difficult balance to achieve. This is my quote/verse of the week.

God is at home. We are in the far country. - Meister Eckhart

They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on Earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. Hebrews 11:13-16

These are a few of my favorite things

I haven't done a favorite things post in awhile so here are a few things that are fun to me lately.

DINGO BONES! Keep my dogs VERY occupied.

Fruitabu is wonderful! They're like fruit roll ups but made with real fruit. Prism friendly!

Naked Superfood Juice so called because it has no other added junk - only juice and packed with great antioxidants and fiber.

Special K drink mixes. No sugar, no aspartame, Prism approved. I love them! Awesome source of Protein too.

Izze Sparkling fruit juice. Only fruit and water. Again Prism friendly (can you tell I miss Diet Coke? I do-a little!)

And because it's summer! Once it hits 80 degrees I give up most hot coffee for quad venti non fat iced lattes. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Love it.

I'm more than 8 months sugar and flour free and it's definitely been time to find some other fun stuff to add to my diet lately. These are great finds! In the words of McDonald's-I'm lovin it!
Have a great Friday!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

home and garden tour

I know! So many of you have asked for pictures of my house and yard. I know you don't live here-I just never think of it! So, I promise to do some postings in the next week or so with pictures. I'll give you a sneak peek today of the roses. LOVE roses. I have 10 rosebushes and they are happiness to me! The other picture is out front taken just last week. Love the south! More to come!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

cutie pies :)

This is really Odyssey's bed, but Ella's never been one for sharing. She's saying, "Move a little to the left." He's thinking, "Get off my bed!"

Always always always with a ball in her mouth hoping someone (me!) will throw it for her :) The ball has a squeaker inside because she's cool like that.


I think Depression can absolutely be spiritually related. The farther we are away from the Lord the less at peace we become. I believe with all my heart that absense from the Lord in any way can make us depressed-for sure. BUT, I do not think depression is 100% spiritually related all the time. There are medical concerns and imbalances and life stresses that make some personality types more prone to depression than others. Circumstantial depression is almost unavoidable in the typical human life. Lately it has been on my heart and in my conversations to say to those of you who read this who struggle with depression - DEPRESSION IS NOT A SIN! DEPRESSION IS A SYMPTOM! Being depressed or going through a period of depression is so not a sin. And I don't think it can even be classified as a sin to stay in depression. However, I do think God wants better for you.
From the bottom of the core of my very soul I hope by now you trust me when I say I understand. I've had the seemingly endless nights of agony and despair. I've cried until I was absolutely convinced that there could not be any more liquid left in my body-and then cried for hours more. I've thought very seriously at times that the only way through this is out. And when I say out, I mean out like for real. I've wondered if it was worth it. I still do sometimes. But what I know now that I didn't know then is that God cares.
Depression is a symptom that something is wrong. When you have a fever your body is fighting off an infection somewhere. When you have pain there is something wrong to the tissues and/or muscles surrounding the pain site. And when you are depressed something is wrong. Sometimes it is physical like a chemical imbalance or medication interaction. Other times it's hereditary. And more often than not it's a combination of biochemical factors and life related stressors.
And if I can just be not very spiritual for a moment - I don't always think Jesus alone is the answer. I think Jesus can work in our midst and with our technology to heal. I think it's important to listen to Him. The first bad day you have doesn't necessarily mean you need a prescription for Prozac. Certain situations in life (grief, etc.) take awhile to run their course. We have to give our minds and bodies and souls sufficient time to recover through the losses and heartaches of life.
But I think there comes a time when you know all the outside stuff isn't working. Good diet, exercise and sufficient sunshine can do a lot to eliviate depression, but not for everyone. Talk therapy is extremely beneficial, but not always the answer. There comes a point when medication is a really great option. I'm not promoting or discouraging it, I'm just saying for some people (a lot of people) medication gives the best chance of returning to a normal feeling life. Psychotropic meds historically people totally emotionless - that's not the case anymore. Medications are available to treat mild depression all the way up to very depressed almost comatose people.
I've heard from enough people lately that medication for mental illness is not spiritual. I'll have to insert what I heard Chonda Pierce say the other day. "Tell those people to take their glasses off and drive home." :) Sometimes we just need a little help to make it! And I think God understands that. I so love the thought of a line of healing where people get hands laid on them and they leave totally healed and restored. I totally believe in the power of God to do just that. However, I think most of the time we grow in Him in the process. We gain spiritual strength and endurance by what we learn THROUGH the valley. And you may not be there today, but one day with God's help I believe you will be thankful for the journey. I am.
People always think that when they break a bone the point where it was broken is weaker than the rest of the body. Not true. The place where the bone heals is STRONGER than the average pieces of bone surrounding the break. I think it's the same with God. When we are healed of our brokenness people want to think of us as weaker, but Beloved we are Not. We are stronger. When God injects his healing power into the broken places in our lives, we are STRONG in Him.
Take courage today those who are struggling. God, even now, is loving you, holding you, and carrying you. He sees your heart, motives and intentions and he knows who you are.....His.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Info about book club

Just an update on the bookclub! Those of you participating are now receiving the information via e-mail. That lets me send you better files as well as copies of the comments. It will no longer be part of the blog. I will continue the book reviews! :) Thanks!

Tuesday book review

You really don't have to know me very long to know I really don't like romantic fiction ESPECIALLY when it's poorly written-ugh. I like a challenge in a book whether it's to live a more holy life for the Lord, or figuring out a complicated mystery. If I can predict the plot and the ending, I won't read anything else they write unless I have to for work. Ted Dekker remains one of my favorite Christian fiction authors. His plots are incredible. His latest book releases today. I can't wait to read it! The reviews are already phenomenal!

Tuesday book review

If you love Ann Spangler like I do you want to read this book. Her books Praying the names of Jesus/God will change your life. This book looks at Jesus as a Jewish man and helps you see how Jewish people would have seen and related to him. I love the descriptions of the feasts, customs, prayers, land and culture that were relevent to the day. A great read :)

Saturday, April 11, 2009

But Sunday's Coming

It was the week literally from Hell.

He bore the burden of it with courage and resolve.

He's been to Hell and back again.

It was Friday.

But Sunday's Coming.

Death has no victory.

After defeat comes the ultimate resurrection.

He died so we can live.

He was resurrected so we can live again.

The grave couldn't hold him.

Satan loosed his grip on the Almighty Son of God.

He won.

And because he was victorious-we win too.

Go ahead and go back to the tomb if you want to - but he's not there.

Go ahead and visit the final resting place of sin, depression, unforgiveness, pain, agony, and defeat, but you won't find him dwelling in those. He's moved on and now we can too.

The women went to the tomb because they expected him to be there. When we revisit that which he's washed clean and forgiven, we are visiting a tomb where he does not live. We wallow in sins already forgiven. We carry guilt for pain set free. He came that we might have LIFE and have it in abundance! What is weighing you down this easter? What has you tied to a tomb? What part of your life, what aspect of your relationship with Him needs a resurrection? Easter, what a beautiful time to offer him up a sacrifice of trust that he's really done what he promised to do. What he forgives is forgiven. Whom the Son sets free-is free indeed.

Some night like tonight many many years ago Jesus awoke in a tomb and he must have smiled. Then he went home to be with the Father leaving behind all traces of Earth. He was going home. Mission-accomplished. I think somewhere in Heaven that morning he looked down at the mourning women and maybe his heart even hurt for their loss for a moment. I think he wanted to scream I'M NOT THERE! I'M ALREADY HOME! I'M WAITING FOR YOU. I'M PREPARING A PLACE FOR YOU! You will be with me soon, Beloved.

And I can't wait to hear-in detail-the conversation he must have had with the Father. Back at Heaven's gates I believe He ran to him and must have heard him say, "Well done my good and faithful one. This is my son and on you my favor rests." Mission-Accomplished.

Whatever your facing today, whatever Friday is in your life dying a slow death toward holiness, know this-Sunday's Coming.

Happy Easter! Happy Resurrection Sunday! He is risen indeed!!!

Welcome to the Family!

I have wanted to rescue a dog from the shelter FOREVER. Even though I have 2 wonderful pure bread little angels that I adore, there's just something about a shelter dog that's amazing. I've wanted an outside dog for awhile now too. I have the perfect backyard, big fence and covered back porch. So, Thursday I went to the shelter just to see what they had. With the recent floods and the economy they were overwhelmed with animals in need of homes. I hoped I would find the perfect dog to add to our family. There were lots of puppies, but they are SO expensive their first year. They had some enormous dogs that I thought would just not be happy in a big fence (they needed a farm-for real). And then I saw her. She has similar markings to my dogs. She's a year old already fixed and done with her puppy shots. I asked the sweet girl what her name was and she said SHINE! What a wonderful name! She had been adopted once before by a girl who lived in a small apartment and it just didn't work out. She had been rejected not once, but twice. Steal my heart! I said, I'll take her! She asked if I wanted to meet her. Oh, sure :) Oops. But it was already a done deal. She put her grubby not so little paws on my clean shirt and when I didn't care I knew she was the one.
I picked her up Thursday night. Poor thing doesn't know how to walk on a leash, but she's a quick learner. She is pure and total love. She'll be spending most of her time outside but sleeping inside at night. She did great Thursday night and Friday. This is her first weekend with me being gone a lot so I hope she'll be okay. So far she hasn't been digging but my only fear is that she'll dig out of the fence! She's part lab and part beagle. I hope she's more beagle when it comes to digging! She's so happy with anything you give her and loves to bring the ball back. We practiced walking on a leash today and she's doing better. She's learning to sit and lay down and stay. I hope she loves it here :)
And her brother and sister? They went from growling at her Thursday night to mumbling today with their tails wagging. Ella snapped her head right off tonight (surprised? no not really!) and Shine just sat there. She's perfectly peaceful and seems to be willing to let them adjust in their time. I think they'll be fine. It's not like I haven't brought a bunch of animals home during their lives! I want them all to be happy and I hope they will be. Shine is staying outside when I'm not home which gives Odyssey and Ella a chance to have their house back! And I did mean to say theirs :)
So, Welcome to the Family Shine! You have a lot to look forward to this week. Your first trip to the vet, adjusting to a new brother and sister and new toys and bones. I hope you love it here! Your name is just perfect to me. You do Shine and you've already blessed me with such unconditional love. We love you already!
Brenda, Odyssey, Ella and a bunch of random cats :)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

UNFORTUNATELY oh mortal one that I am with responsibilities out of my control, I will not be celebrating Good Friday at church like I would love to. Jesus understands, but I still hate it. I wish I could sit down this afternoon and watch the Passion of the Christ and relive the magnitude of this day. He knows I'm thankful. He knows I'm so sorry that if it hadn't been Adam and Eve - it would have been me - for sure. He knows that he would have had to die for me either way if he wanted us to be reconciled forever.

I'm so thankful that I'm a part of his plan. That before my feet hit this Earth his had already been here. I'm thankful that when I leave here, I'll be where his feet touch today. I'm thankful that I don't live under Old Testament Law with sacrifices and rituals. I'm thankful that I live in an age of absoute grace-grace that began many years ago today.

Historically Jesus died at 3:00 P.M. today. Well, maybe not April 10th necessarily, but nonetheless, the world celebrates it today. At 3:00 today the veil was torn for you. And for me. Would you pause today at 3:00 your time just long enough to remember? Just long enough to thank him again. Just long enough to remind ourselves that we can walk in salvation with confidence. He knows. He's been here. He understands.

Only because of Him can this be Good Friday.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I always wonder what Jesus' heart was saying on Thursday morning so long ago. It's almost Friday. It's almost time. This week has no doubt been stressful for the precious Son of God. He knows that He will soon face death. He knows that he will be separated from the Father. He knows. Did he get up and bathe and put on clean clothes trying to have a normal day? Did he wake with tears in his eyes uncertainty fogging his vision? Did he sleep at all last night? I want to know. I want to have been there. Maybe it's just because it's my job to help people at their lowest moments, but I wish I could have just sat there with him and heard what was circling his heart this day.

He must have dreaded the unthinkable. He must have come to terms wtih the inevitable. He must have been a little excited that soon he would be reunited with the Father. He must have had when? will it take long? how painful will it be? I wonder if he wanted to go ask Lazurus how it felt to be . . . . .dead. I wonder what he said to his father this morning.

I imagine it is much like a death row inmate. The pardons have expired (Jesus had asked if there is any way let this cup pass by me). Clearly there was no other way. The priest has made the final visit. There is a sense of resolve. (Not my will, but yours Father). The tools are prepared. (the cross, the crown, the sword). The media is present. (a huge crowd). And the inmate must feel all alone at the final moment-about to enter the total unknown. (Father, why have you forsaken me?).

But that is all tomorrow. How does he get through today? How do you live with the questions knowing you are the answer? The burden of such responsibility. Joseph is deceased by now, but I wonder if he longed for the strong arms of his earthly father. I wonder if he could bear to spend time with his mother Mary today. I wonder if it broke his heart to see her knowing they would soon be separated. I wonder-did he just want to be left alone?

He had invested his life in the disciples and tonight he would say goodbye. His closest friends in all the earth. Imperfect as they were-he loved them. He had seen them go from fisherman to evangelist, from baby christian to empowered by faith. I wonder if he wished he had more time. I wonder if he was concerned that they would be okay without him. I wonder if his heart hurt to leave them.

I wonder if today his steps were slower, filled with meaning and purpose. I wonder if several times today he found a quiet place to commune with His Father empowered by the faith Abba had in him. I wonder if the disciples came and asked him some earthly question that maybe just a little bit irritated him. "With all that's going on today do we have to go over that again?" Or did he love their questions and soaked up the last bit of time they had together. He must have known even that day that one day many of them would be murdered as well for the faith they had in Him.

A woman is buying fruit at the market. Neighbors are talking. The donkeys are tied to the post while the owners meet in the square. A carpenter fixes a broken bench. I wonder if the sound of the nail hitting the wood caused Jesus to cringe as he walked by today. I wonder if he felt more alone than he ever thought possible. And I wonder if deep in his spirit he heard His Father whisper softly to him. . . . . .

"I love you my Son"

"I'm so proud of you"

"Thank you for keeping your promises."

"I am here."

"I care."

"I'll see you soon Beloved."

Love, Dad.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Your week

Jesus, Precious Jesus,

It's your week.

Without this week you would be just the good man that many claim that you were.

But this week proves that you were and you are:


Savior - you saved me from Hell on a cross and you save me from myself every day

Fully Human - you know how I feel because you felt too.

Fully Divine

Alpha - the beginning of all things

Omega - the perfect ending still to come

The Great I am





All powerful


And for all that and more, I love you and I worship you today. As we focus on your road to the Cross I am humbled anew at the lengths you were willing to go to ensure that one day we could be together for eternity. I am undeserving a million times a day, but you love enough to cover a multitude of sins. You bled so I can be healed. You cried only to remind me that my tears are kept in a bottle with you. You anguished so that I could be comforted. You died that I could have life not only in every day, but for eternity.

Thank you is amazingly insufficient, but from the very depths of who I am in the deepest way I am physically, humanly able to say it - thank you. It would take the rest of my life and all of eternity to ever find the words to say what it means that you allow me to be your friend. In you I have all that I'll ever need. The ways you bless me every single day are icing on the cake. And even though I act like a spoiled baby sometimes and make mistakes every day, you mean everything to me. Deep in my soul, at the very core of who I am-I'm all yours. Forgive the times when being wrapped in earthly flesh makes you within me impossible to see.

Because of You.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Holy Week

Happy Holy Week! My very favorite time of the year. I'll be writing more about it later this week as the official days are celebrated. I love the liturgical calendar and praying the hours all year, but never more than during holy week. I love the focus of the Cross and the road to the cross and the ongoing gift of the resurrection. This is the time of year our faith is founded on! Exciting.

Yesterday was Palm Sunday (the 6th Sunday of Lent). Historically celebrated with a huge feast, I celebrated with a whole wheat sub from subway :) Modern feast!

The liturgical color for this time week is violet or purple. I love the royalty of it and also the reminder of spring.

This is the last week of Lent before Easter Sunday.

This week is so important to our faith. I've already explained 100 times on here that I'm not catholic so I won't again, but I do love the reverance and solomn worship of the catholic church. I have a crazy week, but I wouldn't at all be surprised if I head over there at some point this week. There's something so sacred there. I love it.

How are you celebrating holy week?

Thursday, April 2, 2009


(bump) books books books
Finding our Way Again - Brian McLaren
A Good Life-Robert Benson
Complete Book of Raw Food-Rodwell
Salty Like Blood-Harry Kraus

Let Go-Sheila Walsh *****
Handle With Care-Jodi Picoult ****

Pawn-Steven James
In Constant Prayer-Robert Benson
Between the Dreaming and the Coming True-Robert Benson
The Return of the Prodigal Son-Henri Nouwen
Redeeming Love-Francine Rivers
Sophie's Choice-Lori Wick
The Ragamuffin Gospel-Brennen Manning
Eternal Security-Charles Stanley
Prism Weight Loss System-Karen Kingsbury

Take One-Karen Kingsbury
Living Prayer-Robert Benson
The Body Broken-Robert Benson
Voluntary Madness-Norah Vincent
Dr. Gott's No sugar No flour book - Dr. Gott
Dr. Gott's No sugar No flour cookbook-Dr. Gott
The Furious Longing of God-Brennen Manning (again)
The New Sugar Buster's shopping Guide
The Tenth Circle-Jodi Picoult
Nineteen Minutes-Jodi Picoult
Songs of the Humpback Whale-Jodi Picoult
The Boneman's Daughter-Ted Dekkar
Three Cups of Tea-Greg Mortensen
Rook-Steven James (again)
Knight-Steven James
Here's to Hindsight-Tara Leigh Cobble
Lost and Found-Kathryn Slattery
Love starts with Elle-Rachel Hauck
Daisy Chain-Mary Demuth
Fathered by God-John Eldredge
The Blue Parakeet-Scott McKnight
The Reason for God-Timothy Keller

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Marley and Me

Whoever told me not to watch Marley and Me-you were right and I was definitely wrong! I just had to see it. I love dog movies and I really, really wanted to see it. Now I should mention that any movie where animals die is not one Brenda usually watches. Where the red fern grows almost gave me a heart attack and don't get me started on Old Yeller. When I went to see 8 below I almost dehydrated myself-it's not good. I don't like to see animals suffer-at all. And if animals never died that would be perfectly ok by me.
This is a great movie. I so enjoyed 75% of the movie. Hillarious. Odyssey was a real puppy. Ella was never a puppy. He chewed up everything, bounced all over and had enough energy for the whole world. She has always been a people dog and is content to sit there and stare at you. She doesn't get worked up unless it's really important and gives you a look when you're cleaning like, "try harder to impress me." Which is why I adore the ground her 4 little paws walk on. And Odyssey has greatly matured with age-I adore the ground he walks on too.
Needless to say this morning when I finished watching this movie and the family had to put the dog to sleep and bury him I was not so good. Why could the dog not just run off into the sunset? Why not end it with him getting old? Do we have to actually put the dog to sleep AND bury him? Oh my. I'm not buying Marley and Me because I'm pretty sure I would only ever watch the first hour of it and then choose my own ending :)


It's possible that I just watch too much reality TV and also possible that I'm a little over-cautious because of where I work. And maybe I'm just paranoid-no scratch that-we'll go with cautious :) A few weeks ago I got it in my head that it would be really easy to break into my house. By the front and back doors are panels of windows that you could pretty much just break a pane, reach around, and unlock the door. Then you'd be inside! Neither of the doors have had a dead bolt for 5 years, but I decided a few weeks ago it was definitely time. Why? I don't know. I'm weird like that. So, I proceeded to have deadbolts placed on the front, back, and mandoor in the garage. The front and back door share a key and the outside has a key, but you have to have 2 different keys to open any door. (I need more complication in my life? no.) But it usually makes no difference to me because I go in through the garage and leave the door from the garage to the kitchen unlocked and when I let someone in, I'm already inside so there ya go. I haven't had these locks very long and on the side counter of my house is a small pile of keys just waiting for me add to my key chains. It hasn't been high on my priority list unfortunately.

Last night I went to dinner and to the movies like I always do. I ran by Target to get some dog bones and fabric softner and then headed home about 10:00. I knew when I turned into my neighborhood that the power was out. I really thought nothing of it. And by the way-IT WAS POURING DOWN RAIN! I pulled in my driveway and prepared to run through the flood to unlock my front door when it hit me-I couldn't get in! My garage door is electric so that wouldn't go up and every single door was double locked tight. MAN! So I looked through my car hoping at a mature moment I might have thrown a set of the new keys in-no go. I sat it out for about 20 minutes hoping the power would miraculously return. I thought I might have to sleep in my car. I thought I might have to go to Wal-Mart and wander around for a long time. I thought about going to the gym, but by now I had on wet flip flops and soaking wet jeans.

So, I called my boss at Potter's House to see if her/her husband had any bright ideas for how to get in. Tom (who's hysterical by the way) suggested that I drive my car through the garage door. Hmmm......good one Tom! Then they suggested I come hang out at their house for awhile and see if it came back. Genius! I did just that. I had a great 2 hour visit and when I went home a little after midnight the power was back on! Hallelujah! My dogs probably thought I was looney toons parked in my own driveway but not going in!

Yes I now have the keys for all the locks in my possession, on both keyrings, and given to a few friends!!!

P.S. Don't even try to break into my house-it's way hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In perfect peace

I find peace is almost always a foreign concept to my earthly self. I think it's difficult to get and even harder to maintain. I think around every corner, every turn and every stopping point there is an opportunity for peace to totally disappear and if we're not constantly on guard-it will. I have been praying a lot lately for some people in and around my life that are having such a hard time. They're facing questions that do not have answers. So I'm praying for them that they find HIM to be the answer. I'm praying mostly for peace that passes understanding.
And I'm praying for peace in my own life. Peace that even prayers seemingly unanswered are actually answered. Peace that the future is not mine to control. Peace that there is Someone much greater than myself observing and intervening in a life unfinished.
I love Psalm 116:7-8 It's my verse this week. Here it is in The Message and the NASB.
7-8 I said to myself, "Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings. Soul, you've been rescued from death; Eye, you've been rescued from tears; And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling."
7Return to your rest, O my soul, For the LORD has dealt bountifully with you. 8For You have rescued my soul from death, My eyes from tears, My feet from stumbling.

Book Review

Jodi Picoult is my very favorite secular author. If you've never read her I defintiely suggest you start with My Sister's Keeper which remains my favorite book she's ever written. But, this is a good one. It tells the story of a family with a child with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (brittle bone disease) and the lawsuit they undergo to give the child what she needs. It's a pretty long book which is fine by me :)